Play is the work of childhood

PLAY is the work of childhood. Play IS the work of childhood. Play is THE work of childhood. Play is the WORK of childhood

original text (format and all)
by Cathy Koetsier
photo by Janine Davies

Fairness, in arguments

Sandra Dodd, from 2012 [so add some years to the number]:

Twenty-five years ago, my husband said it wasn't fair that we were culturally limited to words, and I could always win with words. If physical ability "counted" he would win, so he was set up to lose. After that I tried not to "beat him up" with words, because he was right—it wasn't fair. When friends of ours got married, and the husband was strong, fast AND very much more verbal, I told him that story, and he appreciated it. He reported back a couple of times early in their marriage that he was about to totally, easily win an argument, and remembered that it wasn't fair, and backed down.

AlwaysLearning; Alex P. quoted me, and commented
photo by Cally Brown

Stages and phases

Someone wrote:

As a new unschooler, I am working toward being less of a "helicopter parent" and more of a watch-from-a-distance parent...

Laurie Wolfrum responded:

While moving towards being calmer and more thoughtful is good, you don't have to think of yourself as any certain kind of parent to do so. It is good if something helps you think of how you can be a better parent. However, I would let go of trying to fit into any kind of label and *be* the responsible and thoughtful parent you wish to be for your child.

Children go through many stages and phases, some of which warrant our close presence and others which warrant our respectful distance. Don't let a label coax you into doing something you don't feel good about. Trust your gut and watch your kid for cues.

—Laurie Wolfrum

More of both those quotes:
SandraDodd.com/parents
photo by Holly Clark
Gold Coast Always Learning Live, 2014

Don't say everything you think.

People who talk too much can damage their kids' willingness to listen, but I think they can also disturb the peace in deep and hurtful ways.

Shhhh
photo by Gail Higgins

See it more and more

See learning as your priority, and you will begin to see it more and more.

SandraDodd.com/cairns
photo by Sandra Dodd
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If mathematics is easy for a person...

Disclaimers: Unschooling doesn't ensure mathematical ability.

I wrote this before Marty got a degree in economics. They were 18 or older before taking any classes, and only needed to pay for the books.

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My kids all caught up with formal math in a semester or two of community college. Marty did up to calculus. Kirby only took one class but makes use of math all the time in his work and play, and is good with money and loans and banking and all that practical life stuff.

Holly took three classes, I think. Maybe two. Liked it; it wasn't difficult. There were people in class with her bemoaning the difficulty, and they had been in school for twelve years or more, taking math classes.

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That was written in 2014. Their paid employment and their hobbies, since then, have involved some or all of logistics, statistics, financial accounting, coding/programming, inventory and cash handling. What they learned in class was the notation used to communicate mathematical ideas "on paper" in our culture.

Some of their facility might have been inherited genetically from their mathish dad. That's fair, too.

SandraDodd.com/math/schoolmath
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild

Cross-Connections

If one thing makes you think of another thing, you form a connection between them in your mind. The more connections you have, the better access you have to cross-connections. The more things something can remind you of, the more you know about it, or are learning about it.

SandraDodd.com/connections
icy-web photo by Cathy Koetsier