Value kids as kids

Meredith wrote:

Generally speaking, kids are Busy people. Its good to see that and value what they are doing. When we don't, its easy to slip into resenting them for "just goofing off" while we grown ups are busy doing the "important" stuff. An important aspect of radical unschooling is valuing kids as kids, not adults-in-training, and so valuing kid-stuff. Playing Green Dinosaur smashes Legoland, watching tv, daydreaming, all are just as important as cleaning the kitchen.

—Meredith Novak

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Sandra Dodd

Blossoms

"The goal of unschooling is not education. It is to help a child be who she is and blossom into who she will become. Learning happens as a side effect."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/proof
photo by Gail Higgins

Which way?

Picture yourself at a familiar intersection of highways. Which is the best way to go?


People go all of those ways, or there wouldn't be roads. You've probably gone all of those ways yourself, many times. How did you decide?

I pictured the I-40/I-25 intersection, in Albuquerque. It's confusing from the air, so I chose another image, one in Georgia. Maybe someone reading this is in Georgia, and lives near the roads pictured above. But in my case, one goes toward the airport, south of town. One goes north to Santa Fe, and Española, where I grew up. One goes west toward the Rio Grande, and downtown. The other, though, the one that goes east, is the way to my house.

Picture yourself in a familiar situation with your family. Which is the best way to go?

It depends where you want to end up.

SandraDodd.com/choices

Kind is kinder

When you are kind, it changes the kind of person you are. When you are patient, it makes you a better person.

More simply put, kind is kinder, patient is more patient and better is better.

SandraDodd.com/smell
photo by Julie D

Action (rather than REaction)

When a parent's choices are based on being the same or being the opposite of their own parents or of anyone else, they're reacting. Sometimes in a healing phase that can help. It can help to have role models. It can help to have bad examples, marked like crime scenes in our memories, to remind us. Let the reactions be part of a temporary healing phase, though. Let reactions be a stepping stone toward mindful actions.

SandraDodd.com/issues
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild
from an alleyway in Sweden

The trick is...

We were at a bar-b-q party and a 5 yr old friend dug into the cooler, pulled out a coke-a-cola and asked his Ma could he have it.

She said, "Heavens no, especially with that chocolate cake on your plate."

She then looked at me asking, "How do you do it?"

I told her, "I don't restrict what my kids eat," and pointed to their plates. XuMei had watermelon, strawberries, green beans and chocolate cake on her plate. Xander had chosen salmon, corn on the cob, watermelon, strawberries and a root beer to drink.

Later I was telling Chris (my spouse) the story and Xander, who I thought was asleep in the back of the van, perked up and said, "The trick is, there is no trick."

SandraDodd.com/eating/candid
photo by Sarah S.

Softer nests

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

If you have a child who doesn't like tags in clothing, you take out tags. Some kids find that the world is full of tags that need to be removed and that's what making a nest is about, removing the tags.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp