Growing up and leaving gently

I have heard many stories of the rearrangements of families with unschoolers who are in their late teens or early twenties, and a young adult will leave, or bring another in, or the house is split up some. The stories are peaceful, and not about fear and arguments.

This, below, is from an interview I did in 2010.

I think when the child leaves naturally and positively, for a good reason, and the parents were willing to have him stay longer, there are fewer regrets and frustrations than under other circumstances. When kids are small, the mom is constantly on call. When Holly was born I had two and five year old boys. I know what it's like to have three young children. I also know what it's like to have three teens driving. But when they're calmly and confidently grown, the mom can leave for a month and they'll still be okay.

—Sandra Dodd

Interview, by Kim Houssenloge, of Feather and Nest
photo by Jihong Tang

Exploring largely

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

If you're not already an interesting person with interesting information to share with your children, then you'll have to make an effort to be more interesting. The way to do that is to develop your own sense of curiosity, wonder, fascination, and enthusiasm.

It might have to seem a little artificial, for a while, if it isn't natural to a parent to just "be" this way.

— Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/curiosity
photo by Rosie Moon

Up and above

Negativity will weigh you down and make life heavy. Hope and optimism will help you float up and above.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Abby Davis
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Little actions

"Show him by your little actions throughout the day that you love him."

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Become a better partner

Because you become a better partner, that partnership works better.

Partners
photo by Sandra Dodd; carving by Keith Dodd

Cliff wall

Realities aren't always easily categorized. Where do these goats live? Turkey. Ester Siroky saw them, when she, her husband, and youngest child passed through. The goats have a shelter that's up against a cliff, against which is built a wall as high as the natural hill, maybe. I'm limited by what the photo shows. I like it, but there are still mysteries.

Appreciating the intersection of a natural wall and a manmade wall would not be ruined by knowing of other walls (if any, or fences) around those goats.

A wall isn't always an obstacle. It might be a shelter, a protection, and a thing of beauty.

It's possible, and it's fine, to appreciate part of a song, a film, a painting, a story, a life, without fully understanding the depth and breadth of the whole thing. A part of a thing is also a thing.


Same goats, out by water
photo by Ester Siroky

Turn away (and smile)

Negativity is contagious poison. Turn just a little bit away from it. Then you can turn away easier the next time; and take a step away, and soon you aren't even standing by it.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Gail Higgins

(Because Erika D-P quoted me in 2013, I can share it with you in 2023 thanks to "Memories" on Facebook. The longer original is here at Radical Unschooling Info.)