Protect your little partner

Me, in a discussion of what was okay for a young child to mess up, in a public park, and how to explain it to him:

If you can't explain something to a four or five year old, just say no. Part of being partners, and being on the same team, is that what he does you're doing too. It's not okay for a mother and child to be doing something others don't want them to do (namely, the owners or managers of a place) and for the mom to shrug wide-eyed and point to the kid and say "He did it."

Gravel, rock and mulch play (on Always Learning)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Touching, playing, learning

Toddlers touch things. That's learning. New experiences and opportunities help them to learn. They're learning while they're holding new things, playing with water, or rocks, or feeling the air on their wet hands, and the mud on their feet

When they feel the touch of parental encouragement and approval, they learn from that, too.

Toddlers in other posts
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Share, invite, encourage

Jennifer McGrail, in response to someone who wrote that it was worth the fight to make kids go outside:

"Hiking in the desert is one of my all time favorite things to do. But no one ever found peace in being forced to do something. No one ever found joy in a choice that was foisted on them by someone else. Going outside is one option of many. As with any activity that I enjoy, I might share, invite, and even encourage my kids to join me. But I would never force."

—Jennifer McGrail

8 Battles I Won’t Pick With My Kids
photo by Lisa Jonick

Amazed and joyful

"That kind of happiness, of being amazed and joyful about everyday little things occurring around us, has made me a much happier person in all aspects of my life."

—Katherine (Queen Jane 555)

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Brie Jontry

Stand strong, gently

Laurie Wolfrum wrote:

Whatever you decide to say, be kind to them. Don’t criticize, belittle or shame them for making different decisions or living differently than you do. Give them the respect that you wish they’d give to you.

Something that might help in any case is to explain that –

• Periodically we evaluate how things are going.
• Nothing is written in stone.
• For now, this works for us.
• We’ll see how things go.

—Laurie Wolfrum
from a presentation on politely withstanding and deflecting criticism

SandraDodd.com/beandip
photo by Sandra Dodd

Your happy, whole heart

Someone asked me, "Are the unschoolers more successful and clever? And do they have more chance to find good jobs as adults?"

I wrote:

I can't say. Even if most were, your own kids might not be. Even if most weren't, your own kids might be.

If what you do is better than school, for your kids, keep doing that. If school would be better than what you're doing, for your kids, in their real lives, then do that.

If you're going to unschool, do it wholeheartedly and happily.

SandraDodd.com/screwitup
photo by Janine Davies

Head the right direction

There are paths that lead away from unschooling and paths that lead toward it. There are ways to do it better and ways to torpedo it irreparably.

Just because there's more than one way doesn't mean there's an infinite number of ways.

There's more than one way to get to Santa Fe from Albuquerque. There are four or five ways by road, one much better than any others; there's light rail; there's flight (impractical); there's walking (crazy). There are thousands of ways to leave Albuquerque and get to places far, far from Santa Fe.

Direction, and unschooling
photo by Cátia Maciel