Empty your cup

Sandy Lubert, from a presentation she gave:

As we deschool ourselves, we must empty our cups of all the preconceived ideas, concepts, expectations and methods that prevent us from embracing unschooling. This seems like a simple thing to do, but it can be quite difficult in practice. At first we think we have emptied our cups but as we drink, we often detect a residual, schooly taste. And sometimes, even a little residue can curdle the whole pot of tea. So, it’s important to have a "clean receptacle," as it were, in order to taste the true essence of unschooling life.

—Sandy Lubert

Sandy Lubert on Unschooling and deschooling, and changes...
photo by Sandra Dodd

One easy step

Thinking of "better choices" instead of "RIGHT choices" is an easy step to a world of other easy steps.


Make the Better Choice
photo by Jen Keefe

Soft, grateful, gentle

When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently.

SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Sarah S.

Be big; be agreeable

Some people say "no" before they even think, and then they justify it by all kinds of child-belittling means. You don't have to be one of those people.

SandraDodd.com/yesGraphic
photo by Hema Bharadwaj

Powerful help

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

I want my kids to feel empowered, so I empower them. I don't want their view of the world to be tainted by "can't", "shouldn't", "wouldn't", and the like. I want their world to be full of "yes I can," I shall find a way to do what I want to do with my parent's blessing and help.

—Jenny Cyphers

Saying "YES" to Children
photo by Nina Haley

Excitement and joy

Once someone was asking how many hours she should spend with her child, or something, and I said at least as many hours as she would've been in school, counting transportation, and there was shock and surprise. The best answer might be that it should be twice as much time as she would've spent in school. Because honestly, a child shouldn't lose the mom-time she would've had at night and on weekends, should she?

The shock probably came from thinking that those hours would be teacher-style hours, of being stuck in one place doing something not too fun. That vision can only come from someone who hasn't looked into unschooling enough to know that the best unschooling hours are fun, natural, real activities. The shock can turn to excitement and joy, as a parent learns more about learning.

Unschooling, Time and Energy
photo by Cass Kotrba

What or where, and when?

Nancy Wooton wrote:

My husband wasn't too sure about unschooling at first, and was also adamant the kids be in bed and stay there at a certain time. I'd just come home from a one-day conference—probably the first time I heard Sandra speak—with an armload of interesting toys and books and a head full of inspiration. One of the books was about finding Titanic, and included a paper model, which I decided Mommy should put together (I really like that kind of thing 🙂).

I was working on it after the kids had gone to bed, but then-7-y.o. Alex got up. He looked at the book and we talked about it as I worked; we discovered what a fathom was, and that Titanic came to rest on the continental shelf, not the very bottom of the ocean, and I'm sure some more interesting things, but those stick in my mind.

About a half hour later, Alex went back to bed and I kept gluing. Dh came in and said, "So that's unschooling." He'd overheard the conversation. I said, "Yeah, that's unschooling." Never had an argument after that. 🙂

—Nancy Wooton

Stories of Late-night Learning
photo by Sarah Dickinson, of a seawater-flooded playground in Port Stewart, Northern Ireland. It's the closest photo I have to the right waters, and the Titanic was built in Belfast.