Don't hackle or vex

Good policy for the treatment of children, too! Keep all those things in the "bad idea" column, and choose their opposites whenever you can.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd

Big gift, little effort

A good project for this season: Maybe send a thank-you note.
Not to me.

Send a thank-you note to someone who has helped you this year, or maybe deliver one by hand to the nicest person at your grocery store, or a neighbor who smiles and waves.

Maybe someone has been nice to you online, and you could send an e-mail or a facebook message.


SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Mary Lewis
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Forgotten roofs of the world

I'm sure there are things on my roof that would be interesting to someone else, but I don't go up there, and I don't look. When I've visted other places, though rooflines seem exotic, and the chimneys and birds and all are not what I'm used to and I get excited.

More often,
       perhaps,
              look up.
It can help in more ways than one.

Uplift
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Chichester, in England

Turn and softly look

awe curiosity admiration amazement puzzlement astonishment spontaneous delight

Turn and softly look at your child to see what is fresh and new. Look at your child with awe. See your child with curiosity. Admire your child. You will be amazed. Learn to be content with your own puzzlement, and to nurture the puzzlement around you. It's okay not to have all the answers, but to let the questions confuse you for a while as you move in new directions. Let new ideas and experiences astonish you. Find delight in small, everyday things.

Turn and softly look at the world to see what is fresh and new. Look at the world with awe. See the world with curiosity. Admire the world. You will be amazed.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Devyn with a lizard she had caught

Text and title repeated from December 2010, with a new photo

Curiosity and learning

One of the highest points of any life is seeing, touching, and considering something new and different.

When considering what to do, where to go, what to bring into your home, think of things your children can experience directly, thoughtfully. Don't ask them to report, past conversational exchange. They might want to think about it privately and come to some of their own conclusions. They might think about it for the rest of their lives, if you let it be sweet, and their own.

Disposable Checklists for Unschoolers ←the section on Five Senses
photo by Amber Ivey

Joyous excitement

If a child has a joyous excitement for music, or sports, computers, poetry, horses, golf or dance, nurture that without owning it. Smile at it without naming it something bigger than your child. Treat is as a butterfly, beautiful, vibrant and alive. Don’t stab a pin in it, label it and stick it in a display box to show everyone the details, and try to keep it as it is forever because then you take the life of it away. YOU own it, and not the child, then.

SandraDodd.com/focus
(original is here, but the page above is better)
photo by Elise Lauterbach
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Last-minute gifts

Something people need for Christmas is patience, sweetness and a little more attention than you think you have time for. Slow down just enough to look more closely at each person in your house, or in your video feed, or who sent you a card or note. If you can't give them more of yourself directly, think kindly of them. Maybe do something helpful for someone else, in their honor. Many people are not where they would like to be this week, and those who see each other might not hug and kiss. If you can make things better and not worse, that is a profound gift.

Give patience for Christmas.
photo by Sandra Dodd, from last year