Everything is bumpy

Today's text is taken from my FB memories yesterday, things written by others:

2010: "I wish people who think unschooling is about doing nothing could know that it's about everything!"

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2011: "I have enjoyed reading Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling. It has been my "go to" book that helps me to get over some bumps in the road."

SandraDodd's Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd

The photo is from 2013, when Joyce Fetteroll and I visited Marta's family in Portugal, and spoke there. It's a Moorish castle near Sintra, built in the 8th century, captured and claimed by the first Portuguese king in 1147. It was in the same "memories" set.

Invisible learning

You can't see what children are learning. If you're lucky, they'll give you clues, but even they are unaware of how much foundation is forming for what they will encounter tomorrow and next year.

"The more things something can remind you of, the more you know about it, or are learning about it."

CONNECTIONS: How Learning Works
photo by Elizabeth Anne

Better than perfect

"Better" is better than perfect. Don't be competitive, with yourself or others. Aim for peace and improvement.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Gail Higgins
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A clearer, brighter light

Sandra Dodd:
Principles that applied to the kids applied to the adults, too, and we all experienced and shared more patience and understanding.

Karen James:
The deeper we applied the principles of unschooling to our lives with our son, the more we saw each other in a clearer, brighter light.



Each quote above is slightly longer at this link,
Spouses / Partners, where Karen's is in the first comment.
photo by Gail Higgins

Providing for your child

Once, long ago, a mom came to complain about her son wanting a toy. I wrote this:

If the begging is on the increase he's needy, but not for robots. Give him something: time, back rubs, a new tape or CD of something he likes, or rearrange his room, or make his favorite food. There are cheap and free things you can load onto and toward a needy kid. He's not being selfish to actually need more attention, more mom, more recognition of self. And you won't be spoiling him to meet his needs any more than you would be spoiling him to make sure he has a blanket on his bed, and a pillow, and a bath sometimes and toilet paper for his butt. There are necessities, and attention and direct one-on-one regard is one of them, bigtime.

SandraDodd.com/generosity

(the December 2001 original)
photo by Cass Kotrba

Positively add more things

Debbie Regan wrote:

In moving towards unschooling, I think it helps to *add* things rather than "eliminate" things. Adding is more likely to be positive—more flexible and open-ended. "Eliminating" is not many steps away from a rule, from rigidity. Yes chores / No chores. Both are rules—rules which intrude, regardless of what's really important.

—Debbie Regan

the original writing (longer)
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Hundreds and thousands

Say "yes" hundreds of happy, surprising-to-the-kids times, about whether they can stay up a little later, or have another cookie, or visit the neighbors, or jump off the porch. Hearing "YES!" is a huge thrill to kids who have been told "no" thousands of times.


That advice is about how parent can move gradually toward unschooling,
rather than jump too quickly.
SandraDodd.com/gradualchange
photo by Chelsea Thurman Artisan
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