There is no "have to"

It is such a relief to know that there is no requirement here. You can just be yourself and follow what interests you. There is no “have to” hanging over your head...

—Maria Randolph

Deschooling with Maria Randolph, at LivingJoyfully.ca
photo by Robin Bentley
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Comforted, entertained, loved

Too many parents talk and talk to their kids, and ask them how they feel and ask them what they need.

Learn to guess. Learn to provide in advance. Food is good to practice with. Soft, clean cleared-off beds are good to practice with. Clearing off space for video gaming is nice. Soon you start to think about heat, softness, clean clothes, toothpaste before it runs out, favorite foods when you shop. And then people feel heard and comforted and entertained and loved.

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Lydia Koltai

Thoughtful generosity

If someone gives you a blanket when you need a blanket, just because they know you need one and think you might like to have one, it's better than a hand-quilted show-piece given to someone who had blankets.

SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Janine Davies

That's frost on a window, by the way, for equatorial dwellers.
Very pretty.

Leaning toward balance

On finding balance:

Lean by thoughts and decisions.
Lean toward what you understand, and what makes sense.

Too far? Lean back.
Just right? Do more with your children, while you're in that state.

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Sandra Dodd; Castle of the Moors, in Portugal

Walk where you are

What is peaceful for one might be spooky for another. Be a comfort to your child and to others on the path with you.

If no one knows what is around that bend, approaching it calmly and confidently is better than pre-emptive dread and fear. Don't be surprised to find an easy, joyful time.

Being where you are now might be the best preparation for being where you will be later.

SandraDodd.com/acceptance
photo by Heather Booth

Helping

Pay attention to your child and help him do/find/see/experience things that will interest him. Help him be his best self as often as you can.

SandraDodd.com/intelligences
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Art Supplies

Deschooling usually involves seeing everything in a new light, or re-naming things we see all the time. If someone thinks of "art" as a school course or in "an art room," breathe that away; shake that off.

If you think of "real art" as oil paintings and marble sculpture, expand your definition.

SandraDodd.com/art
photo by Janine Davies
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