More positive, more nurturing

Commentary on it being bad advice for a stranger to say "follow your heart":

Making a "feeling" decision can not only bring down the family and bring down the child's opportunities, but it doesn't help the parent to lay out their own wounds to dry.

Logic is good.

So if a parent knows that she wants to be kinder, gentler, more positive, more nurturing, there are things that she can do—little changes she can make and decisions she can make that lead her toward that. And "follow your heart" is not a good one.

Unschooling Support: Extras with Sandra Dodd (recording and transcript)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Ways to support interests

Where some parents might brush off the very idea of pursuing a certain interest, unschooling parents will really try to find ways to support it, even if we can't jump in full-on right away.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/yesagain has examples
photo by Sandra Dodd

Following a trail

Learning, collections, connections and humor can all meet when an interest is followed. This one I picked up from Marty's childhood interest in Leonardo Da Vinci.I bought a couple of nice t-shirts for Marty, a poster of inventions, a book, and we came to notice lots of riffs and parodies.

That "oooh, LOOK!" behavior was a large part of interacting and learning, when my kids were young. We still share images, music, movies and trivia now that they're grown.
SandraDodd.com/vitruvianman
image lifted, as one of several variants at the link above
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Visions and knowledge

I didn't know how much children could learn without reading, until I immersed myself in unschooling and my children's lives.

As their reading ability unfolded and grew, I learned things I never knew as a teacher, and that I wouldn't have learned as an unschooling mom had they happened to have read “early.” Reading isn't a prerequisite for learning. Maps can be read without knowing many words. Movies, music, museums and TV can fill a person with visions, knowledge, experiences and connections regardless of whether the person reads. Animals respond to people the same way whether the person can read or not. People can draw and paint whether they can read or not. Non-readers can recite poetry, act in plays, learn lyrics, rhyme, play with words, and talk about any topic in the world at length.

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Holly Dodd, from inside an auto-rickshaw
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Being and providing

Being the sort of parent you wish you had had, and providing an environment you would like to have had as a child, is probably the easiest and most direct way to move toward being a good unschooler.

photo by Janine
words by Sandra, in a fleeting context
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Trust and faith

Trust and faith are the most powerful tools parents of teens have. Too many parents squander those trying to control toddlers and young children.

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Sandra Dodd

That "French poodle" voice

Even the nicest of words can be ruined if they're spoken in a condescending, treacly way. It's not bad for infants, and it's great for French poodles. It's that talking-to-a-French-poodle voice, and the thoughts that go with it, that should be avoided when parents are talking to their children.

SandraDodd.com/tone
photo by Sandra Dodd
Note about treacle: In the UK they make a small pie called "treacle tart." It's like pecan pie without any pecans. Sounds like "tree," not "tray." Needs pecans. Just sayin'...

Note about the photo: Nothing to do with the quote; one of our catalpa trees blooming, a different year. Click it for more info.