Layers of an onion

My response to "Sometimes I think I've started to understand something but instead it's like an onion and there's another layer I didn't know I needed to understand."

That's how everything good is. Every hobby, skill, pastime, has a surface and has a depth. Some things can be just surface, but parenting and unschooling last for years. And if a family can't resolve to be and do and provide better for the child than school would, then school is better.

If a family resolves to provide a better life experience then school did, then their decisions and actions should be based on that.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
"Getting It" has some layers-of-onion discussion, too.

photo by Sandra Dodd

Nurturing bonds

Lots of people, when they first hear of homeschooling or unschooling say (almost before they take a breath) "I couldn't be with my child all the time." School (and even daycare) can break the bond between parent and child.There are, and have been in the past, various culturally approved bonds-breaking practices, so one thing we're doing with unschooling is purposefully nurturing bonds, and these relationships. Lots of parents discover that *if* they can relax into that relationship building, that they can't believe they weren't with their children 24/7 before, and they make up for lost time, and it gets easier and easier.

SandraDodd.com/obstacles
photo by Claire Horsley

Mistakes

Deb Lewis, on a page I had never finished until yesterday:

It's more important for you to improve your parenting right now than it is for you to be soothed over your mistakes.

It feels *awful* to make mistakes. That awful feeling is useful though, because it's part of what helps us avoid doing that thing again. If we think of that feeling as a useful tool instead of a punishment, we won't feel so much need for comfort.

—Deb Lewis

More, about that, by Deb Lewis, here: SandraDodd.com/mistakes
photo by Sandra Dodd
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New, improved heart

Commentary on it being bad advice for a stranger to say "follow your heart":

Coming up with a plan to logically step, step, step by step away from the dark confusion of people's childhood memories, hidden ideas, frustrations, fears... Stepping away from that into the light is a better thing to do. Eventually they may get so good at this being-more-positive that it seems like they're following their heart—but it needs to be their new, improved, mindful heart.

Unschooling Support: Extras with Sandra Dodd
photo by Janine Davies
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Good judgment?

Without "judgment," how on earth can someone "use good judgment"?

SandraDodd.com/judgment
photo by Sandra Dodd, of King Alfred, in Wantage
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Courtesy and common sense

Don't bring your hot dog to the vegan friend's house. Don't bring stinky food to places where others can't get away. Don't bring great-smelling food to a hospital room where someone is on a restricted diet, or on an IV with no food allowed.
. . . . "It depends" is a good first answer when someone asks whether something is or is not okay. There is no "rule" that says unschoolers can eat anything they want any time. But there should not be arbitrary restrictions, just really logical, sensible ones involving courtesy and common sense.

SandraDodd.com/foodrules
photo by Sandra Dodd

Safe and near

If things seem too loud and sharp, consider a sheet over a table, with pillows. Softer. Quieter. Soothing.

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Let young children play with safe kitchen utensils or food while you cook. Let them be near you, if you can.


SandraDodd.com/youngchildren
photo by Julie D