Appreciation

The difference between poverty and abundance is sometimes the ability to see what one has. There have been times when I didn't have a car, we had a leaky roof, and the washing machine wasn't working. There have been more times that the car and washing machine were functioning, the house was solid, and I forgot to appreciate it.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Credit

Every little thing a parent does goes into the plus column or the minus column. Each parent is gaining credit or losing credit. Everything counts—words, tone, patience, generosity, interest, kindnesses and thoughts. It takes more to build your credit back up than it does to waste it, so be careful.

You might like to read about respect,
though the quote was from a facebook discussion in 2013
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a kinetic sculpture a person can affect,
at ¡Explora! ("Ballnasium," by George Rhoads)

Trees and Plants

Here is another change in my life, from years of unschooling:

I even garden differently than I used to. I certainly didn't expect that. I have let trees grow their own way without frustration on my part, and appealed to my husband not to prune so much. I have found things for vines to grow on that aren't fancy or store-bought. The vines are going to cover it up anyway. I've let native plants go ahead and grow, if they don't have stickers. Some of them are really pretty, and they want to grow there. If I destroy them and put in some foreign plants, will the neighbors be impressed?

Considering what is natural in my children, and what I can't control and shouldn't even try to control, has made it easier for me to look for what's "natural" in nature. That seems pretty obvious, written down that way, but many people want to control trees, and grass, and flowers. I don't mind influencing them and encouraging them, and nurturing them, but "to control" them? I don't even "control" tumbleweeds. I pull up any I find and put their little carcasses in the compost pile. That's tumbleweed euthanasia, maybe, but not "control."

The quote is from page 278 (or 321) of The Big Book of Unschooling,
and you might want to look at some tumbleweeds I've touched.
photo by Sandra Dodd, and it's a link
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Invest

It's a huge investment in the future, to be generous today.

Chores (transcript of a chat)
photo by Holly Dodd

Dangerous thoughts

The words of Pam Sorooshian:

People should shush the tapes in their heads and think for themselves. Be brave.

The VERY first thing that really shook me up in listening to unschoolers was at a talk Sandra gave—she said it was okay to think dangerous thoughts. I decided to try it.

I've been thinking, "What if....." ever since. I'm addicted to thinking dangerous thoughts.

From a 2009 chat/interview with Pam Sorooshian;
transcript: SandraDodd.com/chats/pamsorooshian
photo by Marty Dodd
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I'm glad...

Sometimes when my kids were little I would express a positive thought aloud.

"I'm glad we can afford to go out to lunch sometimes," or "I'm glad we have a car and enough gasoline to go to the mountains!" Or "I'm glad our cats are nice."

And don't do it to train them. Do it because it's true. It will be uplifting, in that moment to kind of put a blessing on it.


from the January 2013 chat on gratitude

photo by Sandra Dodd of a car in Lyon, France, 2012
Here's the other side of it:

Attachment

When I talk about attachment parenting, I'm talking about the idea that if you allow a child to be near you as much as the child desires, without pushing him away or leaving him anywhere against his will (not at the neighbors, not in a dark bedroom) he will grow more gently and solidy, and you will be a better parent for being with him so much that you really, truly know him and he fully, honestly has faith in your presence and your love.

SandraDodd.com/attachmentparenting
photo by Sandra Dodd
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