Stand with your child

In a discussion about limitations and choices, Joanna Murphy wrote:

People want to look at these issues as though there are only two options: free rein or limit. Black or white thinking. There is a whole world of conversation and relationship with your children between the two extremes.And that's where unschooling lives—a child exploring their world in connection with a parent.


Are you going to be a parent who enlarges your child's world and helps them to find their own power and hone their decision making and critical thinking abilities, or will you be a parent who limits and closes down your child's world and imposes your own ideas of right and wrong?

Stand WITH your child to navigate these issues, not in their way. The more you let them make important decisions, the more they will think them through and strive to make good ones for themselves.

—Joanna Murphy

Joanna Murphy, from Building an Unschooling Nest
photo by Sandra Dodd
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(in French)

People

Treat your children as people first.

(a paraphrase of Dan Vilter, paraphrasing me,
and the whole story is at SandraDodd.com/tone)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Extra Thinking is Good!

Public school discourages kids from coming up with off-the-wall responses. No bank shots, please. Just go directly from the question to the first sufficient answer—nothing tricky or dramatic, and nothing that makes you think, or makes the teacher think. If your answer isn't what's in the teacher's manual your answer is wrong. If you did extra thinking you wasted your time.

When learning is valued for its own sake, all thinking is good.



SandraDodd.com/connections/cocktail
Photo by Sandra Dodd, of a dry-stone bridge made by Bruce Curtis, a home ed dad and a master drystone waller ("dyker" in Scottish parlance). Bruce made this particular bridge singlehandedly, to the specifications WWII engineers figured would hold an army tank. He didn't "have to." He wanted to. It's for golf carts and small automobiles. If you want to read more about drystone work click here, but remember it won't be on the test.
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Consideration—more or less

"Children don’t deserve less consideration just because they’re small. They deserve *more* patience and kindness and consideration because they are young and still learning."

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/deblewis
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Getting Better

Don't expect to be perfect, but expect yourself to be improving all the time.

—Pam Sorooshian

Make the Better Choice
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Crazy-thinking

I wrote this twelve years ago, but it's still true:

We keep a running commentary on one another’s lives, and so what I’m learning trickles down to them, and their questions make me think like crazy.

Crazy-thinking isn’t bad.

SandraDodd.com/input
photo by Holly Dodd, of the stop sign, which is its own right direction
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Sketch Books

Some families take sketch books with them on hikes and draw pictures of animals or plants, or maps, or take notes. They don't need to be great art, but if you practice recording what you see and think in ways other than words it will broaden your range of thought and abilities. And the updated version of the sketch book is the digital camera; the new field journal is the blog!

Maybe look at purses or wallets or shoulder bags. The shapes of intersections and overpasses and the railings on bridges. Public gardens and fountains. Street signs and traffic lights. The texture of concrete in different forms and uses. Wall coverings (paper or cloth; marble; paint; brick; tile…). Landscaping. Doorknobs and handles. Stairways and elevators. Waiting areas for the bus or train. Billboards and marquees. Clocks and watches. Hair clips. Key chains. Drinking glasses.

Even when more schools had art programs, they were limited. Unschoolers are not limited in their exposure to art in the vast everyday world.

Although it shouldn't be the starting or ending place, don't forget that the real world includes books and videos. There are museum sites online, too, with images of art you can zoom in on.

from "Art," page 84/85, Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd