More of everything

Connections won't be the same for any two people, but talking about those connections will help our children, and us, understand more and more of everything. We can't know all of everything, but we can know more of everything.


SandraDodd.com/connections
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Between "more" and "too much"

If your kids ask for another one (potato, cookie, peanut butter sandwich) I think it's helpful if you just say "Sure!" and make another one, even if you don't think they'll finish it, even if you think they'll be too full or whatever. As long as they're not eating someone else's share (and even so, if the other person agrees), it's not a big deal. If they don't finish, save the leftover for someone else. If they do finish and they're "too full" that's how they'll learn their capacity (which will change anyway as they get older).



SandraDodd.com/eating/control
photo by Sandra Dodd

Learning at home, and in other special places

Learning isn't in fancy books or computer games, it all happens in the ideas children have, in the trivial facts they fit together to come up with their view of the world—past present and future. You don't need a lesson or a unit to show a child what's wonderful about woodgrain, ice crystals on the windshield, or birdsongs. Five seconds worth of pointing and saying "Look, these trees were not native to North America" might possibly lead to an hour long discussion, or a lifelong fascination. Bringing something interesting home, browsing in an antique shop, listening to new music on instruments you've never heard—all those build neural pathways and give you a chance to be together in a special place.

Quote from the 1998 article "All Kinds of Homeschooling"
photo by Holly Dodd
of line art by Holly Dodd
which happened to catch a rainbow
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Seeing the light with your own eyes

Recovering from school is only part of a parent's deschooling process. Trust is involved, but it's an evolving trust. First one might read about or even meet some older unschooled kids and see that they're doing well. But it seems they can distance their own families a bit by thinking "Well that's fine for her kids—but mine might not be as [insert one:
    special
      bright
         gifted
            open
               calm
                  creative
                     sociable] as hers are."

The turning point comes when one sees the natural learning start to shine from her own child. Then she goes beyond trusting other unschoolers, and starts trusting natural learning.

A few years ago a mom wrote "Then I saw the light with my own eyes." That was a description of the dawning of confident unschooling.

You can read the rest of that, and also something by Ronnie Maier, here:SandraDodd.com/deschoolingcomments.


photo by Sandra Dodd, used with this thought:
It's one thing to see photos of sunflowers, or to read about sunflowers,
and quite another thing to grow your own.

Lightshows

Early, in the kitchen, a basket of light:


One side is white with dark holes. The other side is dark with pink morning sun. Had I used a flash, both sides of the basket would have looked the same and the soft spots would have been gone.

Downstairs, another light show:

Look for light, literally and figuratively.

They sit, play and talk

Some families are less likely to play than others. Some adults have forgotten how. I treasure the moments when a recently-schooled older child has snorted at the “daily special” out on the table, but on seeing an adult pick up the modeling wax or the tops that are really felt tip pens and leave a pink squiggly trail, or whatever cool thing is out, they sit, play and talk.

SandraDodd.com/truck
photo by Sandra Dodd

Confidence and experience

I'm confident. I'm not guessing unschooling can work, I know. I've also seen how it can fail, through my correspondence and discussions with so many other homeschooling families. I'm not hoping that kids can still get a job without fifteen years of practice bedtimes; I know they can. (And they would've been "practicing" for the wrong shift anyway.) I don't conjecture that kids can learn to read without being taught, I know. It's happened at my house, in three people's lives.

SandraDodd.com/confidence
photo by Holly Dodd
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