Peace and joy

Bring her home, surround her with peace and joy. Don't fight with her. Just love her. There is much more at stake here than her "education."

—Pamela Corkey

SandraDodd.com/deschoolingcomments
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Trust and respect

Trust and respect go together. Someone who is trustworthy will be respected.



SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Julie D.

Casual and alert

Casual and alert are better than intense and hurried.


Time and money (chat transcript)
photo by Colleen Prieto, whose son loves birds and graveyards
There's another photo, down a bit, here.

Sharper tools

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

The basic idea of unschooling is that we learn what we need by using it. And that's exactly how kids learn to speak English. Toddlers aren't trying to learn English. They're using a tool (English) to get what they want: which might be juice or a hug or picked up to see better. The English tool is more efficient than other tools they've been using: pointing or crying or wishing. And because English is more efficient, they use it more. And because they use it more, the get better at it. Kids learn English (and everything else) as a *side effect* of living and pursuing what they enjoy.

—JoyceFetteroll

SandraDodd.com/english
photo by Sandra Dodd

Brave and calm

Be brave,      be calm,           be happy.

Becoming Courageous, by Deb Lewis
photo by Sandra Dodd

Sparkly and flowing

Sometimes it's fun to try to think with fewer words.

Unschoolers can move toward "better" by making better choices.

Imagine a way to be. What about clean, moving water?

When you choose activities, responses, thoughts and moods could you choose things more sparkly and flowing?

SandraDodd.com/feedback
photo by Maria Wong
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Adult things

Kids blossom and get bigger from doing adult things because they want to, instead of kid-things they have to do because they're small.

SandraDodd.com/chores
photo by Donna Anderson
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Nurture and share

Be the kind of person you want your child to be.

Nurture your own curiosity and joy.

Find gratitude and abundance in your life.

Explore. Make connections, on your own.

Share those with your children when they're interesting.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Sandra Dodd
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If you can...

Sometimes the thing to do is just to go to sleep.



SandraDodd.com/sleep
photo by Holly Dodd

The best answers

It's hard to explain unschooling, partly because the best answers are "it depends," followed by questions for the parents to consider while they're making their decisions.
. . . .
Getting unschooling is a process. There will be more to get once you're comfortable with the new understandings and behaviors.

Other factors
photo by Abby Davis
Getting It

Radiation

"Radical" means from the roots—radiating from the source. The knowledge that learning is natural to humans can radiate forth from that point in every direction.

SandraDodd.com/terminology
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Live in the learning

"Child-led, 'wait til they ask'" isn't the way radical unschooling works. It's a way for unschooling to fail, if the parents are twiddling their thumbs waiting for the child to lead, or ask to learn something.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/marginal
photo by Karen James, of stained glass by Ethan James

Learning about learning

For the parents, deschooling is learning about learning.

SandraDodd.com/hsc/radical
photo by Colleen Prieto

Whole, thinking, seeing

Children have been whole, thinking, seeing beings since the day they were born. Assisting them to learn and to find their strengths and to explore the world and its possibilities is preparing them for their unseen futures.

Mommy-labs Interview, October 2012
("Children" replaces "they," to allow the quote to make sense out of context.)

photo by Janet Rohde Buzit
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Happy surprises

Let everyday things bring joy.


Mystery thing
Surprises and discoveries
photo by Janine

Finding art

It's fun to be on the lookout for art in unexpected places. Sometimes people purposely make art and hide it, for kids to find.

Find art wherever you are.



SandraDodd.com/art
photo by Hinano
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"I hope you don't mind"

Dylan isn't twelve anymore; Deb Lewis still writes beautifully.

---

Yesterday was David's birthday and we had guests. I left dishes in the sink when I went to bed. I got up early with the dogs but then went back to bed. When I got up later Dylan had done the dishes.He said "I know you really like to do the dishes mom, so I hope you don't mind, but I just felt like doing them."

Dylan is twelve.

I *know* living life joyfully makes a difference in the way our kids see us and the way they see the little things that make life better.

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/chores/tales
photo by Janine Davies
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Grand and simple

Of natural learning, Ren Allen wrote:

By choosing to unschool, I am giving my children the ability simply to enjoy the journey rather than to seek some unknown destination that falsely promises an end product. My children’s lives are their own; their dreams and passions belong to them, and in gathering the bits that matter, they are showing me that natural learning is grand and simple all at once. The light that emanates from them awes me to silence.

—Ren Allen

Crystallized Learning
photo by Lydia Koltai

High horse on holy ground

Carol/sognokids wrote:

One day Colton and Bud returned from the library, thrilled with what they had found. A video copy of "Godzilla!" I snorted derisively and suggested that our time would be better spent with a book. I was ignored. They made some popcorn and started the movie. I sat with them on the couch, or to be more accurate, on my moral high horse....

A voice whispered in my ear: Look at them, Carol. Just LOOK at them! .... They were totally connected to each other through their movie experience, and it was a joy to watch. I knew that they were making a memory together....

We have laughed and cried together as we have watched, and we have wondered and marveled.... And when I watch my husband and son stomping around the house like Godzilla as they destroy Tokyo, I know that I am standing on holy ground.

—Carol/sognokids

The rest is worth reading, and there's a story by Deb Lewis, too:
SandraDodd.com/t/godzilla
photo borrowed from 60 Years of Godzilla

The light dawned

It was the issue of food that provided the epiphany for me to "get" what unschooling is about. When I realized that there are foods out there that make me gag, and I wouldn't want to have to finish them (or even put a bite in my mouth) the light dawned. Why do it to kids, if there's something that I refuse to eat?

—Heidi C.

SandraDodd.com/food
photo by Jenny Bilderback

Wonderment

"I think trying to see the world through young kids' eyes can help us move toward wonderment."

—Chris Sanders

SandraDodd.com/chats/wonder
photo by Jo Isaac

Building an unschooling nest

"Building an unschooling nest" is a phrase that has come to mean maintaining a safe, rich, happy environment in which learning cannot help but happen.

What will help to create an environment in which unschooling can flourish? For children to learn from the world around them, the world around them should be merrily available, musically and colorfully accessible, it should feel good and taste good. They should have safety and choices and smiles and laughter.

There is some physicality to the "nest," but much of it is constructed and held together by love, attitudes and relationships. Shared memories and plans, family jokes, songs and stories shared and discussed, all those strengthen the nest.

Quote from The Big Book of Unschooling, page 125 (or 137)
photo by Jennifer Smith
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Inside and outside

I have some good plants in my house. Outside it can be too harsh for most plants to survive, but indoors is safer.

The photo was taken far from New Mexico, but still shows some life inside, and some less-lively structure outside.

Two ideas: Sitting around watching plants grow isn't as good as some other things you could do, and don't be too prejudiced against being inside!

SandraDodd.com/t/memories
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Confident, happy, glad

I wrote this of Kirby, in 2005 when he was 18 years old:

He's confident in his skin, in his mind, and in his being.
He's not afraid of his parents.
He goes to sleep happy and he wakes up glad.

My priorities could have been different.

---

Kirby is 30 now. Yesterday he contacted me about plans for adopting his wife's daughter, who is eight, so her name will be Dodd, too. They recently signed a mortgage on the house where she has her own beautiful room.


Context for the top quote about Kirby is in a story here:
SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Rachael Rodgers

Swirling

"The top itself was not what caught Ethan's attention. For me, it was. For Ethan, it was the swirly lines that were the treasure he happened upon and wanted to explore more."

—Karen James, 2017

Strewing in Action
photo by Holly Dodd, 2009

"We" can be a problem

Remember that your child is a whole separate person.

SandraDodd.com/we
photo by Amber Ivey

Good life; less needy

"Parents who do make meeting their children's needs a higher priority will find that life is good and they, often unexpectedly, find that they are, themselves, less needy when they feel like really good parents."

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/priorities
Halloween photo by Lydia Koltai

Learning happily

I believe that if children learn happily, without pressure and without shame, that they will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.

Why Radical Unschooling?
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Unfolding, unfurling

[To the frequently voiced complaint that the word "unschooling" seems negative, this was written years ago and has not been bested:]

"Lots of people make this point, but I never see the negation as negative in a value-judgment sense when I use the word—to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting....

"All mean freedom and growth and vast possibilities to me."

—Zann Carter

Definitions of Unschooling
photo by Rose Sorooshian
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Newness

There do need to be breaks for familiar, comforting activities, but a rich life should include newness for the sake of learning (and fun), and an unschooling parent should be aware of the learning that's happening in the children and in the parents, both. Learning isn't just for kids!

SandraDodd.com/beginning
photo by Amber Ivey
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Little bits of life

Look for beauty in the tiniest things in the smallest moments.

SandraDodd.com/fabric
photo by Sandra Dodd

Unscheduled brilliance

"Let go of the fear of missing out; it will hamper your ability to be open to the cornucopia of unscheduled sparkling brilliance."

—Robyn Coburn

SandraDodd.com/robyn/cornucopia
photo by Sandra Dodd
of an Australian possum I saw, thanks to Jo Isaac
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Your perspective will change

"Your perspective will change when you've experienced new things, seen the world from a different place."

—Debbie Regan

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Cheryl Balazs

Love in the moment

Deb Lewis wrote:

One of the beautiful things about unschooling is it gives our kids time to really explore the things they love—to see where they might lead. And if they don't lead to a career or life-long hobby, the love of the thing, in the moment, is still a valuable experience. If you could magically know what would give your child joy, wouldn't you want to provide it? The magic is in trusting our kids to know what they want and in helping them do as much of that as we possibly can. It's not always easy or comfortable, but how do you put a price on learning and joy?

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/limits/listening
photo by Stephanie Guthaus
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Focus on the good

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

I wish things for our family had been different earlier than later, but it is what it is. Unschooling really helped make us better people. I can't even imagine, or rather I can, how different things would be with our relationships with our kids if they'd been in school all these years.

Kids absorb the good and the bad. Unschooling really focuses on the good, and that's, well, GOOD!

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/ifonly
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Blue Suede Shoes

1993:

Some time back there was a request for songs to be sung which would be educational. As music itself is a discipline, I think any music can be used as an educational tool. It can tie in with physical activity, mathematics, physics, history, geography, art, language, and it can be used to get kids excited and awake, or calm and asleep, or anything in between. I don't mean singing about math or history, either, but discussing the form of the music, the rhythm, the moods, the origins, the instruments on which it is traditionally played, the length and pattern of the verses (or phrases, or whatever), what its purpose is (a march, background music for a movie or for an 18th century fireworks show, a lullaby, a love song), etc.

Don't miss this fun and easy opportunity to tie different "subjects" together by using a song as a jumping off place to many different discussions. If you need ideas, name a song here and see how many suggestions you can get for it!

---

2012:

What's above was written in 1993. Someone named "Blue Suede Shoes," thinking it wouldn't net much. I just wrote and wrote that day, and luckily I printed it out and saved it. The link below leads to my response, commentary and a video of Elvis doing another song, that leads to another song, and... you know.

SandraDodd.com/dot/elvis
photo by Sandra Dodd (of some art right behind my house)
2017:

The tromp l'oeil art of full-sized cars on storage containers is still behind my house. The Elvis page has two added videos—not of Elvis, but things that one reminded me of, and then the other (added recently). I hope you have fun with all of this!

Living with food

You don't know what your children need. They won't know either, if they're never allowed to live in such a way that they will learn to pay more attention to their bodies than to a book or a menu, a calendar, a clock, or to their parents' fears and prejudices.


SandraDodd.com/food
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Be that way

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Treat them the way you want them to treat others - It's easy to be nice when the kids are nice. The kids need to see how people (you) can be patient and kind when life isn't going smoothly. They need to see how to work with someone whose view is different. They will get to see that by how you treat them when their view is different from yours. If you treat their needs and feelings as less important, they'll learn to treat other's needs and feelings as less important. And then when you're old and bedridden, they'll say, "No, you don't need more tea, no, you don't need to finish that TV program. I have other things to do than tending to your needs. Can't you see how busy I am?"

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/happychildhood
photo by Erika Andromeda, of a patient child and his well-loved Great Grannny

Mind and awareness

Don't think of your brain. Think of your mind and of your awareness. A little tiny brain can hold a LOT of information. A big fat one can fail to do so. It's not size, it's peace and use.

SandraDodd.com/awareness
photo by Charles Lagacé, of sundogs in Nunavut
("trois-soleils", in French)
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