Help to relax

"What helped me relax was focusing on our relationship with each other and fostering GENUINE interest in each others' interests."

—Tina Bragdon

SandraDodd.com/learningfromourkids
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Words about words

I like words. Much of my writing is about terminology, and concepts, and meaning, which is why it can be difficult (or worthless) to translate some of it, because it is of and about English, very often.

"For clarity of thought and for value of discussions about unschooling (or anything), it's important to use words intentionally and carefully. . . . [M]uddled thinking can't lead to clarity nor to better parenting." (My words, from SandraDodd.com/semantics.)

photo by Sandra Dodd
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Refreshed and alive

Parents should keep life flowing, clear, refreshed and alive.

not a quote from, but goes well with SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd

Games

Games can be family history, and art. Games can be culture and togetherness.

It's okay if games are old and made of wood, and seeds or stones. Some use cards, dice, markers. Don't worry about it if they involve computers, or smart phones and long walks.

SandraDodd.com/games
photo by Pushpa Ramachandran

Be brave; have fun

Be curious. Be open-minded! Beyond this, or behind that, are other things. Peek. A joyful attitude is your best tool.

SandraDodd.com/attitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Quantity and quality

Here's an idea that will work with just about every aspect of life:

Every time you make a decision, wait until you've thought of two choices and choose the better one.


It seems simple, but I was surprised, when I thought of that way to ratchet the quality of life up, to find how many times I was acting without really thinking.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sensational

Sensational Sensation Senses Color, texture, scent. Sound. Taste. Let your days be sensational.

SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Hinano
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Gratitude

It's good to be grateful for all the things we have.

Sometimes it can help to be grateful to have less, fewer, not as much, as might cause us difficulty. Be grateful for having just enough.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Laughing and wondering

People learn by playing, thinking and amazing themselves. They learn while they're laughing at something surprising, and they learn while they're wondering "What the heck is this!?"

SandraDodd.com/unschooling
photo by Celeste Burke
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Gradually, without fanfare

Gradually, without fanfare, be more positive and more supportive
of her desires and requests.

SandraDodd.com/gradualchange
photo by Eva Witsel

Patience and acceptance

I noticed one morning I was really patient with my irritating cat. That was cool, and I announced to one of the discussion lists that I was going to work it into my talk about things that surprised me. We've long been sweeter with our current dog than we ever were with a dog before, and somewhat the cats too, but usually I hiss at the cat to get away from me when he gets in my face early in the morning and this morning I told myself that the cat can't open a can, and he's excited that I'm awake, and the dog probably ate their canned food, so I just very calmly followed him in there and fed him and he was very happy.

I doubt it's my last frontier, it's just my current frontier.

SandraDodd.com/pets
photo by Sandra Dodd, of someone else's cat

"Pause it!"

When Kirby and Marty were little, and playing with toys, Marty said "Pause it!" when he needed to leave for a moment, but wanted Kirby to wait for him. He was used to watching video tapes, and playing Nintendo.

The concept of a time-out lives more largely in younger people than in some of their parents. It's GOOD to wait a moment, to stop, to await other's input.

Human interactions should be like games, sometimes—after I "move," I can wait while the other person makes a move, a comment, a response. Then it might be my turn again.

SandraDodd.com/decisions
photo by Julie T
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No post today

Keith's 60th birthday party just wound down. It's two minutes until midnight (my deadline for a post) and I'm too tired to race it.

Thank you for reading and sharing these posts, and I'll have something for you tomorrow.

Sandra
SandraDodd.com

Try not to miss too much

The sunset came into my yard this way for just a few moments. I could have missed it. I have missed most sunsets in my life.

You will miss much of your child's life. Try not to miss too many moments.

It only takes a second to do better.

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
sunset photo by Sandra Dodd
a repost from February 2011
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Thousands of nicer things

When I was a kid, if my mom had done one nicer thing a day, that would have been thousands of nicer things in my childhood.

SandraDodd.com/nicer
photo by Ve Lacerda
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Choosing not to whine

Sometimes I want to whine. Sometimes I do. It never helps.

When making a conscious decision about how to respond or how to react, it will be rare that whining will be the best choice.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Elise Lauterbach
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Learning from our kids

People assume they will teach their kids lots of things. Then they move on to knowing they don't need to teach, just help/assist/facilitate. But there's that other area where the kids know things we don't know (and maybe could use knowing). By the time you get to that stage, confidence is easy to have, I think.

From the transcript of a chat on Learning from our Kids
photo by Colleen Prieto

Happiness and lightness

"Something has clicked, or melted away, actually, in the past year and I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for saving my relationship with my children. I feel happiness and lightness where there was once dread."

(a mom, recently)

SandraDodd.com/feedback
photo by Rachel Singer

Quiet trust

"Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Cátia Maciel

Small change, big deal

Every time "have to" comes up in writing, speech or thought, back up two words and see it as a choice, and not a have to.

You don't "have to" do that, but your ability to make choices and to live a life of abundant gratitude will be hampered if you don't.

SandraDodd.com/haveto
photo by Eva Witsel
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Sunshine and water

SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Janine, of her boys—
and if it's been used before, it's worth seeing again.

Fun shelter

"Don't shelter them from the world. Don't let them loose in it. Walk with them, paying attention to what it looks like they need to know (not what you think they should know). Partner with them in this real world we live in, so that they can learn, with your guidance and support, how to make the most of their explorations and their ever-growing experience."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/deschooling
photo by Hinano
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Service and nurturing

Service and nurturing can make parents better humans.

Not being served, or being nurtured, but being of service and being nurturing to others.

SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Smiling and helpful

Children are born learning, and unless and until that joy is extinguished (by school or pressure or shaming or belittlement), it will thrive and grow. Learning is easy when the people around are smiling, encouraging and helpful.

SandraDodd.com/nest
The quote came from a comment I made on a YouTube video.
After I wrote it, I thought I should share it here.
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Adam learned from Pokémon...

"If you lose at first, try again — it doesn't mean you will never win. If you lose, shake the other person's hand. It isn't possible to be unbeatable." —Adam Daniel (when he was six)

and there's more of that list at SandraDodd.com/adamlearns
photo by Tim Mensch

Perpetual learning

Once school is behind and life is in front, learning becomes self-perpetuating.

SandraDodd.com/connections
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Everything in the Whole Wide World

There is a Sesame Street book called Grover and the Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum. There is a "things under the sea" room and "things in the sky" room, but still each room is just a room in a museum, no windows, everything out of context. Then he opens a big door marked "Everything Else" and...

The picture that follows is here, and more text, but what's outside the door of your own home is more important.

art by Joe Mathieu, early 1970's
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