Even for kids who are in school, the more parents talk and joke and wonder with them, the more learning will happen, and the better relationships will be.
photo by Cátia Maciel
Try not to go against nature, when you're aiming to "be natural."[Later in that same discussion] Sandra responding to "I try to model healthy eating."
Healthy eating for an adult woman isn't the same as for a teenaged boy or an eight year old girl or a two year old or an infant.
That all 'just happened,' but it happened because we've been building up to it with our whole lives and our whole style of communicating and living together in a constant state of open curiosity.. . . . Once you start looking for connections and welcoming them, it creates a kind of flow that builds and grows.
How do you go about it without it feeling like/being bribery? I'm guessing it is in attitude and wording, but I can't imagine a way to word it that it doesn't sound like bribery to me...? Thanks for the idea!How do places of business get people to go to work without "bribery"?
When kids get sneaky, what might that signal to a parent?Joyce responded:
Don't see his behavior through adult eyes. That view casts children as the bad guys when they disobey what adults want them to do. See the behavior for what it is. He has a need. He sees you as an obstacle, as someone who not only won't help him meet his need but will probably stop him. So he's avoiding the obstacle to try to meet the need himself.
It's the essence of every story: The protagonist has a need. He finds ways around what stands between him and what he needs.
Rather than being an obstacle, be his partner in meeting his needs. Be the one keeping an eye on the needs of those around him as you find respectful, safe, doable ways for him to meet his needs. Be the one manipulating the environment so he's not in a situation he can't handle yet.—Joyce Fetteroll
SandraDodd.com/needs
"Your child is not you"—that one stopped me cold, way back, when I was resisting, thinking it All sounded odd and crazy. It was a gigantic "well duh" moment in the best way. It was so obvious! And yet I was using my adult needs and fears waaaaay too much to make decisions about what my kids "needed" or "needed to learn".—Meredith