Seeing learning

If beginners don't go through a phase in which they REALLY focus on seeing learning outside of academic formalities, they will not be able to see around academics.

SandraDodd.com/peace/newview
photo by Lisa Jonick
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Connection and trust

Leah Rose wrote:

Unschooling, deschooling, parenting peacefully, all of it called to me, deeply, but it felt like a huge risk, a giant gamble. But I'm so glad we didn't pull back, that we continued down the path. ...

Learning to parent mindfully, keeping my focus in the present, making choices towards peace, towards help and support, is not, as it turns out, much of a gamble or a risk. It is the surest path to connection and trust.

—Leah Rose

SandraDodd.com/guarantee
photo by Marin Holmes
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The World as a Museum

Be willing to be surprised where you are, to appreciate the unexpected, and to stop and notice something old or artsy.

What's familiar to you might be brand new to a child.

SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Very random

Try to embrace "very random" so unschooling will work optimally! 🙂

Even for kids who are in school, the more parents talk and joke and wonder with them, the more learning will happen, and the better relationships will be.

Webs, nets, connections
photo by Cátia Maciel

Sounding off

Patti Schmidt wrote:

It seems to me that "phonics" essentially serves the purpose of "teaching" a child to read before he's ready and fully grasps context and meaning. I know that I can read Spanish, which is a much more consistently phonetic language than English, complete with accent and everything, and literally not understand one bit of what I'm saying.

I remember being tested separately for "reading" and reading comprehension. If one can't understand the words and phrases, then isn't it just decoding with an internalized phonics decoder ring?

Turning script to sound is one trick, but the reading that people want will turn marks to meaning. The same way that musical notation (and a musician who can decipher and play or sing it) can bring music into the air, so can the written word becoming lively language again.

Patti discovered, as many unschooling parents have, that while some children appreciate phonics hints, or figure phonics out on their own, others learn to read in their own other ways.

More of Patti's story of children learning differently:
SandraDodd.com/r/patti
photo by Sandra Dodd

The photo was taken of the insde of a church door in Durham, in England. "The draught is dreadful" cannot be read easily with American phonics (or sight reading, or look-say). But it's cute, and it's alliterative, which is an ancient tradition in the English language, and in the naming of the alter-egos of comic-book super heroes.

Learning with and from kids

from a set of questions going around in 2009:

Question:

What ways have you found to continue your own learning? What kinds of things have you gotten interested in since having kids?

Sandra Dodd's response:

My kids have introduced me to music, movies, games and humor I wouldn't have known otherwise. It's been wonderful. Kirby moved nearly two years ago, but he still sends me recommendations for things to see and hear. I've met lots of unschoolers and their children, and corresponded with 20 times as many; from them I've learned more and more about unschooling.

SandraDodd.com/learning
photo by Janine Davies
(or a camera in a theatre lobby)

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I tagged it "costumes, but it was a board with cutouts for them to stick their faces in, so... not sure how to tag it. I first learned about the musical "Cats" from Roxana Sorooshian, and then Holly Dodd, different aspects.

Learning, input—living there

a mom wrote:
Having the television on all day is not something I want and I live here too.

Sandra Dodd's response:

We don't have the television on all day.

You live there too, but if your priority is your children's learning, then limiting input is going to make that more difficult.

Other unschoolers responded, too, in that discussion:
SandraDodd.com/bookworship
photo by Jen

What about "Educational" Materials?

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Resistance to things that look schooly or educational makes sense—we're promoting letting all those things go completely, especially at the beginning stages of unschooling, and we talk about how beneficial that can be for helping people to help them understand that learning happens all the time, that much of what is "taught" in school is learned naturally by unschoolers in the course of living their complete schoolishness-free lives.

I don't think it makes sense to criticize unschoolers for being anti-schoolishness. That goes with the territory.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/stages/materials
image by WordCloud, of words by Sandra Dodd

In 2013, someone said my facebook posts were negative. In those days, WordCloud could generate artsy data from a facebook URL (or any URL or document). The posts were candid (they were already there). The size is based on the number of times words were repeated, in that sample of 293 posts—a year's worth. Looked pretty positive!

Online real-life safety

Deborah Cunefare wrote:

My kids know that if they meet someone online and decide they'd like to get together in real life, I'll do my very best to help make it happen. We've driven across states to meet up with families in their homes who we only know from online until we get there.

A predator would have a really really REALLY hard time getting my kid into a situation they could be taken advantage of. A kid who isn't supposed to talk to anyone they don't know has much incentive to agree to sneak out to meet that person - the parent isn't going to agree because the kid was breaking the rules. They're easy prey. My kids, on the other hand, know that they can ask and I'll drive them to a safe meeting. If the "friend" said "Oh no, don't tell your mom" that's a huge red flag for them.

—Deborah Cunefare

SandraDodd.com/onlinesafety
photo by Julie Daniel

Coda: I thought the photo was mine, at first, because I was there. Someone from England drove me and Joyce Fetteroll (who are ordinarily in New Mexico and Massachusetts, respectively) to visit a family in Scotland. Without online discussions using real names, we would not have known one another, and I would not have seen that wonderful old wall, patched more than once over a couple or three centuries, and that shelf, and...

We KNOW fear and negativity to be dangers. We know joy and newness can add to peace and learning.

Connecting the drops

Pushpa wrote once, of her child's fascination with rain:

Smelling the earth, feeling the rain, tasting the first drops, watching the glistening dew that remains after the storm, learning that the ants and other creatures scurry for shelter when the heavens part while she runs to soak up the magical showers has taught her many a thing about her world. And taught me that when its raining—it's time to connect the dots—and the drops!

—Pushpa Ramachandran

The full piece is sweet:
SandraDodd.com/connections/drops
photo by Sandra Dodd (in India)

Learning, relationships and peace

Look at learning. Relationships. Peace.

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SandraDodd.com/unschoolworld
photo by Denaire Nixon

Changing sensibilities

Common sense among unschoolers is (and should be, needs to be) more particular and rarified than everyday "common sense."

Does it seem like common sense, after a few years of unschooling, that it's good to let people sleep if they don't need to be anywhere? And that the nicer you are to them, the nicer they're likely to be to you and to others? It seems like common sense to me that learning is learning regardless of the source, and that what's engaging and fun has value.

SandraDodd.com/change (though these words aren't there)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Repeating favorites

A lot of parents have come to discussions and asked, is it okay? My kid is watching this movie over and over. Or my kid only wants to watch the same TV show all the time. And then my general first rhetorical question to them was what's your favorite album? Who’re your favorite musical artists? What's your favorite song?

And by the time they think about that, they know that there's something they've listened to 16 or 100 times, and it calms them down. But I think it's learning. It's part of learning. And it's also comfort.

SandraDodd.com/repetition
photo by Ravi Bharadwaj, of a break between songs in an epic Beatles-Rock-Band game in 2009, at my house

Raghu and Marty, same day, same game, same photographer:

A learning world

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Unschooling is not leaving kids to their own devices until they show an interest in learning a given subject.

Unschoolers do not expect interests to arise out of nothing.

As an unschooling parent I offer ideas, information, activities, starting points, and material to my children as opportune moments arise, not out of nothing, but out of the experiences that are created by mindful living in the world—walking in the woods, visiting museums, watching movies, reading books, going to the theater, swimming in the ocean. Every moment in life offers opportunities for learning and investigation.

. . . .
Unschooling families live in a learning world—no division of life into school time and not-school time.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/pam/learningworld
photo by Karen James

Flexible uses

Creativity and intelligence are seen in the ability to use a tool or an object for something other than its intended purpose. If you see your child (or your cat) doing something "wrong," set rules aside long enough to consider principles.

Sleep is important. Curiosity leads to discovery and to new connections. Shade can come from things other than trees or roofs.

Let your mind leap and frolic.

CONNECTIONS: How Learning Works
photo by Belinda Dutch
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Learning through experience

Katherine Anderson wrote:

If you wait to do unschooling *after* you understand it, it's unlikely you'll ever understand it. Learning itself works through experience. Unschooling is the same way. It's largely grasped by experiencing it.

—Katherine Anderson

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Karen James

Observe, recognize and know

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Be very observant of what your child is really doing - don't view him/her in a shallow superficial way. Recognize that there is a reason for a child's actions, that a child is "born to learn" and is always learning. Get to know your child's own special favored ways of learning

—Pam Sorooshian

#10 of a list of 11 pointers by Pam Sorooshian
from What is the role of the unschooling parent?
photo by Belinda Dutch

Extraordinary doings

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

It helped me think more clearly about unschooling when I realized unschooling isn’t something kids do. Unschooling is something parents do. Unschooling is *parents* creating a learning environment for kids to explore their interests in.

Unschooled kids aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary. They’re merely doing what comes naturally. They’re doing what all animals with lengthy childhoods do. They learn by doing what interests them in an environment that gives them opportunities to explore.

Unschooling is parents doing something extraordinary. It’s deliberately creating an environment where kids are supported in pursuing their interests.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/unschoolingis
photo by Rosie Moon

Learning by watching

Problem:
My son spends a lot of his time playing video games. I have accepted that this is his passion... and maybe very well play a part in his career path. but lately he's also been watching videos of other people playing video games on YouTube! Please help me see a reason that this is not just a waste of time... I know you'll have a good way to look at this latest passion.

An idea:
Musicians watch videos of other musicians. Athletes watch videos of other athletes. Chess players have even been known to watch other people play chess with something approaching awe and rapture. Woodworkers watch woodworking shows. Cooks watch cooking shows. Dancers watch better dancers and learn like crazy!

[and there was more, ending with...]
Don't worry about what kids choose to do. Make sure they have lots of choices, and don't discriminate between what you think might be career path and what might "only" be joyful activity and self-expression, or what might seem to be nothing more than relaxation or escapism. Let them choose and be and do.

SandraDodd.com/mha
photo by Sandra Dodd

How unschooling works

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Schooling works by pouring expertly selected bits of the world into a child. (Or trying to, anyway!)

Unschooling works by the child pulling in what he wants and needs. It works best by noticing what the child is asking for and helping him get it. It works best by running the world through their lives so they know what it's possible to be interested in. . . . .

Real learning travels the child's path of interest, from one bit of information that interests them to the next. Real learning is self testing by how well it works in the situation the child needs it for. Real learning is about understanding enough to make something work.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/how
photo by Roya Dedeaux