Learning about learning

For the parents, deschooling is learning about learning.

SandraDodd.com/hsc/radical
photo by Colleen Prieto

Newness

There do need to be breaks for familiar, comforting activities, but a rich life should include newness for the sake of learning (and fun), and an unschooling parent should be aware of the learning that's happening in the children and in the parents, both. Learning isn't just for kids!

SandraDodd.com/beginning
photo by Amber Ivey
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Stance and viewpoint

If there is a method to unschooling it's certainly not a simple one. It involves changing one's stance and viewpoint on just about everything concerning children and learning. That's not "a method." That's a life change.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/definition
photo of "the rock house" (small, at 10 o'clock), from Sandia Tram,
by Sandra Dodd

A fascinated adult

Because John Holt was SO interested in children, every time he interacted with one, he saw a child interacting with a fascinated adult. THIS is one of the things unschoolers need to remember. When the adult brings boredom, cynicism, criticism and doubt to the table, that's what he'll see and that's how he'll see it, and it will be no fault of the child's whatsoever.

SandraDodd.com/johnholt
photo by Lisa Jonick
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Quiet

It is ironic when someone shouts "QUIET!"

Hold that image, as a distant cartoon, and let it dissipate.


Just for a day or two, try to speak less, and more softly. If you're already a quiet person, perhaps you can use the time to notice and appreciate that, about yourself. For the quick and too-loud among us, let's try to hear ourselves, and to raise the average of useful speech by letting go of some of the superfluous verbiage.

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Charles Lagace,
of the inside of an iglu (inukitut for house)

Being together

When a child lives with his parents, it's good if the parents appreciate and nurture what it is "to live," and if they can see the value of the "with."

Read about the New Wheelbarrow or perhaps more Togetherness
photo by Jo Isaac

Senses

Kids will want to taste snow. Help them find some that's clean enough. Same with icicles. You might know what dirt is on the roof, but let that go; find a cleanish one.

Kids will want to touch snow, see it, smell it. Just the other day a kid in my yard was talking about how different it sounded, walking in it on the third day, than the first day. It was squeaky, when it compressed.


What seems old and normal to you will be new to each child who is born and sees things for the first time. Be patient and generous and maybe you can see it again, as though it were new to you, through their eyes.

SandraDodd.com/addlightandstir
photo by Ruqayya
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Direction

Be glad to find things in life that can help you choose a good direction.



SandraDodd.com/direction
Photo by Charles Lagacé, in Nunavut.
Marie-France Talbot, the mom, wrote:
"Snow inuksuk (inuktitut for person subtitute) made by my husband and sons. They are usually made of rocks and they indicate direction."__

Being transformed

[There is something interesting] at the crux of the difference between being an unschooler and being however we all used to be before. We had this expectation of how we might be with our children, or how we might be with our spouses, our friends, or neighbors, or roommates. And then something big starts to change. And our attitudes change. And our "being ourselves" changes.

SandraDodd.com/listen/transformations
snow angel photo by Janine Davies
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Healthy gratitude

I'm writing this just after returning from a long afternoon at the urgent care center.

If you're reading it in health, at home or out doing something that takes strength and stamina, please breathe in a bit of appreciation of your abilities and breathe out enough gratitude to share.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Holly Dodd

Succesful and happy

"In my mind, partnering with kids isn't about having them be In Charge—and it isn't about having parents be In Charge—it's working together, with the more experienced partner (the parent) taking the initiative to help days (and nights!) be successful and happy."

—Colleen Prieto

Child-led? Problem...

Who's in Charge?
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Seeing patterns

Humans look for patterns. There are patterns in sound, story, colors, words, designs and textures. Needlework, architecture and ironwork. Waves, clouds, and snow. Puzzles, mazes and games. Cosmic, microscopic and temporary patterns are all around us.

SandraDodd.com/seeingitcomments
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Guarantee

There are no guarantees, but we can always do a little better.

SandraDodd.com/guarantees
photo by Laurie Wolfrum

Hidden secret rooms and magic doors

When I move thru your site, I feel like a child in a candy store, or like I'm in a fantastic meandering castle with hidden secret rooms and magic doors to new realities.

I didn't keep the name of the person who wrote that, but I love the images.
SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Julie D

Gradual Change

Leah Rose wrote:

The leaps I've tried to take always seem to leave me feeling shaky and uncertain that I'm on the right track. When I inch forward in baby steps the ground feels solid and I know I'm heading in the right direction. I know it's working when I'm at peace. That's the marker I look for.

—Leah Rose

Gradual Change
photo by Eileen Mahowald

Step by step

Schuyler wrote:

I can almost pinpoint the minute when I turned from feeling a need to have my own needs met in a separate but equal kind of way to seeing how being with Simon and Linnaea was meeting my needs in the most involved and deep way....

For me, it was very clearly incremental, it was a step by step building from small changes to a point where I was in a position to find personal fulfilment in being with my children. It wasn't martyrdom, or it didn't feel as though I'd sacrificed myself for their joy. It did help to get the almost kinetic memory of being kind to them, of meeting them where they were instead of expecting them to meet me where I was.

—Schuyler Waynforth

Read more; it's good: SandraDodd.com/needs
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Shockingly efficient

Julie Daniel owns a company that advises people on efficiency and productivity. I interviewed her and asked whether unschooling had seemed inefficient. Her husband works with her, and she quotes him:

When I first started to explore unschooling one of the things I found very exciting was how amazingly effective and efficient it is. My husband, James, says it is 'shockingly efficient'. There isn’t any of the wasted effort that goes along with trying to entice someone to pay attention to something that they don’t care about. We notice what Adam is interested in and we think about what else he might find interesting and we provide opportunities to explore those things.

Mostly when people think about being 'organised' they think about structure and predictability. For me the point of being organised is to achieve a particular objective. I actually really like that I don’t need to have a lot of structure to achieve the goals of exploring cool things, learning about the world and having fun. Of course some of the basic organisational skills that I have learned do come in handy, like knowing where to find things that I’ve saved and keeping track of our calendar so we know where to be and when. But in terms of Adam’s learning I don’t feel the need for structure and predictability because I can see how incredibly efficient his natural learning process is.

—Julie Daniel

The Efficiency of Unschooling (interview)
photo by Julie Daniel
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Patterns and angles

What you see every day can be seen in a different way.



SandraDodd.com/checklists
photo by Sandra Dodd

Holly likes green chile

Green chile is a New Mexico staple. Ten or twelve years ago, I wrote this, in a discussion about reading:

We've used this "someday you will" or "you just don't yet" about all kinds of things, from reading to caring about the opposite sex to foods. Holly doesn't like green chile yet. She figures she will ("When my taste buds die" she jokes), because her brothers didn't used to and now they do. Kirby lately started liking mushrooms. Marty still doesn't like spinach yet, but we haven't branded him "a spinach hater," and I don't think anyone should consider a child "a non-reader," just one who "doesn't read yet."

SandraDodd.com/r/encouragement
photo by Sandra Dodd

Wonder and joy

Some people are looking for the easiest way through, with the least amount of effort and attention, instead of looking for how rich and cool life can be if they just lift up their hearts and eyes to the wonder and joy around them.

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Marta Pires saved that quote from something I wrote that was longer and not all as cheery, on facebook. So I'm going to link to this instead:
Do it
photo by Sandra Dodd
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