—Sandra Dodd
from a comment I wrote on a blogpost: "I turned out fine"
photo by Shonna Morgan
"Being mindful won't prevent kids from getting frustrated but it will be a huge step in the right direction. Seeing the world from kids' point of view will help you understand why they are reacting to the world as they are." —Joyce Fetteroll |
Seeing layers is good. Depth of field applies not just to visuals, but to awareness in other areas too. Consider as many factors as you can, whether in images, patterns, ideas or words. |
Sometimes I think of things I wish I had done or said, or I wish I had been more attentive or patient and sometimes I see in that very moment that I'm sitting there thinking about myself instead of getting up and going and being with my husband or kids. It's weird, and people who come to it new think "martyrdom!?" or self sacrifice, but it's not that. It's investment.
There is probably not an idea about how to be with kids that you have that we haven't seen and turned over. (Sounds a bit snooty!) What I mean is, that 1000's of people have wandered by us with the ideas they have. We've held them up for examination to see "Is this respectful? How does this help a child? How does this hurt a child? Is there a better way that will nurture him *and* help him?" —Joyce Fetteroll |
What's near seems Big! Stay close to your children so they will be big in your life. |
"My kids think learning is what life is for. And I agree with them." —Pam Sorooshian |
Until a person stops doing the things that keep unschooling from working, unschooling can't begin to work. It seems simple to me. If you're trying to listen for a sound, you have to stop talking and be still. Some people want to see unschooling while they're still teaching and putzing and assigning and requiring. They have to stop that FIRST. And then they have to be still. And then they have to look at their child with new eyes. If they don't, it won't happen. |
Just yesterday a friend and I were discussing what we thought of as a distilling 'factor' that must be present for unschooling/mindful parenting to be successful. The factor that came up was TRUST.
With trust, the world opens up, horizons expand and life can seem exciting and limitless. Without trust, the world shuts down, gets narrow and petty. Each moment matters in the wrong way. I want more expansiveness in my life, not less."
"Watch and listen to your kids. Let yourself get caught up in what they find wonderful and in the process rediscover wonder itself." —Meredith Novak |
Don't aim for 50/50.
If 50% is right, then 49% is wrong, and 65% would be something get angry about.
If you both aim for more than half, you'll meet around the middle, around half the time. If you want the other person to stick around, "around" is the goal.
2020 update: Thirteen years later, Kirby is married, with three children, in a house in Albuquerque. They all get along sweetly.