Pause it!

I remember having younger video-game playing kids, and asking "Does this game pause?" Or one of them, knowing which were "pausable," would just demand of a sibling "Pause it!", if there was a reason to interact, a question to ask, or something to say.

With my own thoughts and actions, it's good to know when I can "pause it" if someone needs me.


SandraDodd.com/being

photo by Crystal, Sorscha's mom, a dozen years ago,
for If you give a cat a Nintendo...,
a tongue-in-cheek directory page

Sparkly and joyful

Choices in an environment maintained with learning in mind are different from choices in a quiet, boring place. If I were a kid, my choice in a quiet, boring place would be to go to school.

Make your unschooling sparkly and joyful.


SandraDodd.com/schoolchoice (righthand box halfway down)
photo by Sandra Dodd

All of the days

Q: How will you know if they're learning?

A: Teachers need to measure and document because they need to show progress so they can get paid, and keep their jobs. They test and measure because they don't always know each child well.

Parents know a child is learning because they're seeing and discussing and doing things together every day. Not five days a week, or most of the year, but all of the days of their whole lives.


SandraDodd.com/faq
photo by Sarah Lawson
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Keep learning

We don't know what our kids are thinking about what they're watching, hearing, tasting, smelling, feeling in their lives. And we don't need to know. It does help for us to keep learning, too, ourselves, so we have more confidence that they're learning.

SandraDodd.com/deschooling/
photo by Janine Davies

What is not a clock?

I do love clocks and calendars and the history of time measurement, but it is good to remember that we are not clocks, and our children are not clocks.


The clock is not hungry
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a sundial in Chichester

Whirl and twirl

We have made good use of making patterns in the slots of a revolving rack of poker chips, and then with poker chips out on the table. I have set out photocopied pictures and cheap water colors, lots of brushes, and had side-by-side painting by the hour. Whichever kids or visitors wander by will be drawn in and as they play or paint they talk and share and think. . . . .Working on patterns in silence allows one’s mind to whirl and twirl.

SandraDodd.com/truck
scanner art by Sandra Dodd

All directions

Be open to input from all directions.


Be willing to go in different directions, over the years—with your feet, and with your thoughts.

SandraDodd.com/gradualchange
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Winchester
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Hardly any words

Unschoolers have experiences other homeschoolers don’t have. Unschoolers know things that teachers can’t learn in or around school. Unschoolers who start early enough can have relationships with their children for which there are hardly any words.

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Janine

No time out

Time can be geological, historical, millenial, generational, eternal or poetic. Current time can involve years, months, seasons, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds and subparticles thereof. Time can fly or drag along. It can heal everything or be the enemy. There's no time out from time!



SandraDodd.com/time
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Curiosities

Learning proceeds from being able to touch and see things, maybe to hear, smell or taste things. To discuss new or unexpected things. To think about interesting things.

SandraDodd.com/museum
photo by Sandra Dodd

Don't measure.

I've given this advice to newlyweds, and to my children about roommates:


Don't aim for 50/50.

If 50% is right, then 49% is wrong, and 65% would be something get angry about.

If you both aim for more than half, you'll meet around the middle, around half the time. If you want the other person to stick around, "around" is the goal,

SandraDodd.com/peace/mama
photo by Sandra Dodd

Your House as a Museum

There are stories behind the things you have. You're saving history, geography, social ties, mysteries. Share those stories with your children and your guests, if there's a lull, or a connection to be made.

SandraDodd.com/museum
photo by Sandra Dodd

Whole and functional

It has been a long time since I worried about whether they would grow up whole and functional. They were whole, functional, bright and conversant all along. —Sandra Dodd, in 2006, even less worried in 2016

SandraDodd.com/connections/cocktail
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Live lightly and musically

Encourage your kids to play with music in all kinds of ways. They're learning and growing. Help them turn the scary music off, if they're scared. Encourage them to appreciate other people's artistry.

Live lightly and musically. And if you have a kid who doesn't seem very musical, don't worry a bit.


quote from a chat transcript linked here: SandraDodd.com/music
photo by Ravi Bharadwaj, at a Rock Band game session years ago
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Just enough peace

Can there be too much peace? For learning, yes. Learning requires mental arousal. If an environment is so still and barren that one's curiosity isn't sparked, then people might be closer to a state of sleep than of excited curiosity. Life can be too dull and quiet for learning to spontaneously happen.

Can there be too little peace? Yes, and in many ways. There can be too much noise, stimulation and chaos. So finding the balance place and the comfort level is part of creating a peaceful home.

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Andrea Justice
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Learning to listen

"Listen to your body" isn't the best description. There are ways to pay attention to bodily clues that our culture and language came to ignore and deny.

In response to someone talking about her children self regulating, I wrote: "Self regulate" means to make a rule and then follow it yourself. They're not self regulating. They're making choices. It's different. It's better!

My friend Bela sent me the following story, which has a good description of mindful living: One zen student said, "My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating." The second said, "My teacher has so much self control, he can go days without sleep." The third said, "My teacher is so wise that he eats when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired."

My kids did that!
photo by Beth Lamb

Unmeasured and whole

If you are not required by law to test your child, don't choose it.

Because a test score is never ignored, tests affect the relationship between parent and child, and many unschoolers want to preserve their child’s journey to adulthood unmeasured, uncompared, and whole. It might seem crazy from the outside, but the disadvantage of testing is real.

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The second paragraph above is from SandraDodd.com/thoughts.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Patterns and plans

Colleen Prieto took this photo of her odomoter. I love the pattern, and the reflections. If it's too small to appreciate, click the image for an enlargement.



Seeing patterns and appreciating them will help with unschooling. It adds to wonder, and awareness. In Gardner's Intelligences, it's about spatial reasoning and nature intelligence—seeing what is like what, and seeing and predicting change and outcome.

Intelligences, or more images and some writing by Colleen Prieto
photo by Colleen Prieto

Better than what?

When I write and speak about people trying to be better, some balk or resist, or say "You want us to try to be better than others?"

It's personal, not competitive.

This is the better I'm talking about:

Be better than you would have been if you had not thought "I would like to be better."

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Variable speeds

Time is fast, time is slow. A moment can seem like an hour, or a day can pass in a blink. Joy can make time flow smoothly. Make the best of most of your moments.

SandraDodd.com/time
photo by Sandra Dodd