Serious fun

"Fun is serious. Fun is important, especially for kids. Don't underrate fun. People who are not happy as children seldom find easy or lasting happiness as adults."

—Deb Lewis

The quote comes from something beautiful, and serious, about Scooby-Doo
at the second link here: SandraDodd.com/scoobydoo
photo by Janine Davies

Quick access

When I was first unschooling, we waited two months for a new issues of Growing Without Schooling. There was no internet discussion at all. When that began, a few years later, it was user groups, not even e- mail or webpages yet. Today someone can get more information about unschooling in one day than existed in the whole world when my oldest was five. I'm glad to have been part of honing, polishing, clarifying and gathering those ideas, stories and examples, and keeping them where others have quick access to them.

Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.

SandraDodd.com/interviews/naturalparenting2010
photo by Ve Lacerda
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Becoming, and being

Becoming the sort of person you hope your child will be, or that your child will respect, is more valuable than years of therapy. And it’s cheaper.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Leading lightly

John Quincy Adams is credited with having said, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

The sentence above came from a post by an unschooling dad, Sean Heritage. In the post he's talking about his unusual approach to his job as a Commander in the U.S. Navy. Some of his ideas might have been inspired by his unschooling experiences, but Sean's ability to see in the way he does must surely be making unschooling easier at his house.

In your family, in your unschooling, in each dyad/partnership within your family, if you inspire dreaming, learning, doing and becoming, you'll be leading in an exceptional way.

Sean's writing from which I pulled the quote: Unicorns and Fairies

Being your Child's Partner is probably the best match on my site.
photo by Megan Valnes
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Open your mind and heart

"Every time I opened my mind and heart to something my kids loved or were passionate about, or just enjoyed, I learned more about my kids and my life, and theirs, became richer."

—Alex Polikowsky

SandraDodd.com/alex
photo by Jennie Gomes

Fill up your family

"You can't give what you don't have," some people say, and if you want your children to give generosity and kindness and patience to others, you should give them so much they're overflowing with it.

It works with respect, too.


SandraDodd.com/spoiledkids
photo by Julie D, of Holly and Adam
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Ongoing and fluid

When life is whole, and not divided into school grades, then reflection, assimilation and connection are ongoing and fluid. In the absence of reporting periods, there's no need to evaluate periodically. Gain trust in learning, and then focus on providing a rich, peaceful environment. Become an unschooling parent.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sarah Dickinson

More learning

All other things being equal, for me I decided in favor of something new and different, over something same-old, when there was a draw about which thing to do or which way to go.

SandraDodd.com/depends
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

A secure, lively life

"People of all ages don't like others to build walls around them that prevent them from exploring what intrigues them, from doing what they enjoy. Yes, people want to feel secure, but they want that security to allow them to live life, not preserve their life."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/fears
photo by Sandra Dodd

Seeking joy

In discussing the idea of coercion, Dawn Todd wrote:

"I can't really say from looking at my kids whether they feel coerced or not in a given moment. But I can tell joy when I see it. So seeking joy is way more helpful to me as an idea."

—Dawn Todd

Not exactly a match, but could be useful:
SandraDodd.com/bribery
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Creating rebellion

In response to someone who described her child as "a rebellion factory":

The conditions required to create rebellion don't exist at my house. I don't think unschooling provides a good environment for a rebellion factory to emerge.

SandraDodd.com/rebellion
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Real peace

Most moms who come around to tell more experienced moms about how terrible "violence" is haven't even tried to define that term in their own minds. They will say a cartoon is "violent," or a TV show is "violent." Their children are probably sitting safely on a warm couch in a house with a locked door. Think peaceful thoughts about imaginary violence.

SandraDodd.com/violence
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Why unschool?

Amy: Here is Sandra Dodd with a simple definition of unschooling.

Sandra Dodd: Creating an environment where natural learning can flourish.

Amy: What’s natural learning?

Sandra Dodd: Learning from experience, learning from asking questions, following interests, being.

SandraDodd.com/whyunschool
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

I can hear the bells

Rippy Dusseldorpwrote:

"I don't really look to other mothers for validation on how I'm doing as a parent. I look to my children and my husband. If they are generally happy, relaxed, comfortable and engaged, I feel pretty good about how I'm doing....

"If I see signs of frustration or stress or uneasiness in my family, there are alarm bells going off inside me telling me I need to be kinder, pay extra close attention, have more ideas, and offer more options."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

SandraDodd.com/stress
photo by Julie D

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"I can Hear the Bells" is the name of a song from the musical Hairspray. Rippy was talking about alarm bells; that song references an electric school bell (in the movie version, anyway). They seemed to match a bit.

Wood

Collections can take space to store. Games, post cards, dolls, musical instruments, puppets, scarves... Online, ideas and images can be collected and shared more easily. Following an interest can last a few minutes, a week, or many years.

SandraDodd.com/wood
photo by Sandra Dodd

(click to enlarge)

Other unschooling families

Whether in person or at a distance, online, it can be helpful to know other unschooling families. Seeing how others handle everyday or unusual situations, how they amuse themselves and comfort one another, can make it easier to understand and relax.

SandraDodd.com/friend
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Socializing?

What about socialization?
Schools "teach" children to get along in school. Children who live in the real world learn to get along with real people of all ages, in all kinds of situations.

When I was in elementary school, the lowest marks I got were C's (average) in conduct, or deportment. I talked too much. Way more than once I was shushed in class with the admonition, "You're not here to socialize."

SandraDodd.com/faq
photo by Polly G, with Julie D's camera

A leap in thinking

"Video games are an evolutionary leap in thinking and imagination. The people who make them, the people who play them, the people who master them are using their imaginations in the way of artists and musicians and the best scientists." —Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Who will your children follow?

If parents set a good example, it's easier for kids to learn. It's good for the relationship.

If parents set a bad example, children can still learn better habits, but they might learn by deciding NOT to be like the parent, but rather to be like another adult they respect more. It might be a karate teacher, or a friend's parent. That is NOT good for the relationship, and can affect the parent/child relations for decades.

The above was written in a longer discussion, where I didn't mention that the children might not learn better habits, but might settle for behaving as badly as the parents.

Be the way you hope your children will be.

Similar, but without the quote above:
Thoughts on Respect, by Robyn Coburn
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Native habitats

"It's important to observe radically unschooled kids rather than kids in general because kids in general are shaped by the relationship they have with their parents and their freedom to explore. Kids who are controlled behave very differently from kids who are supported in their explorations. They are as different as zoo animals kept in cages are different from animals who grow up in their native habitats." —Joyce Fetteroll

Understanding Unschooling
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp