Support

Supporting someone or something requires strength and confidence.

Support is holding something up.
Support is upholding something.

Support your child. Lift him up above you.

New words, relating to older ideas:
SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Ask questions about life

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Think in terms of nurturing your own enthusiasm about life rather than nurturing their enthusiasm. Don't jump up and down about George Washington if he puts you to sleep. Be honest in your pursuit of what interests you. Let them see that you think something is really cool. Not to get them interested in something you think would be good for them but an honest "Wow! I love this stuff!" And ask questions about life. Be curious. Because it's the questions that are important. Anyone can look up the answers but not everyone can ask the questions.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/talk
(includes a link to a new French translation)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Now what?

Nothing in the world can guarantee that life will never jump up and scare us, or that circumstances won't pile up on us. The question to ask when one is consciously intending to create and maintain a more peaceful life is "now what?"

from a discussion on facebook
photo by Dylan Lewis

Tweak this

People seem naturally to want more, and to want better, and to have the urge to tweak and improve their lives and their surroundings. Don't deny the restless desire that enables people to explore and invent, but while looking ahead with hope and plans, look around with gratitude, too.

You might like SandraDodd.com/gratitude
but the quote above is from page 185 of The Big Book of Unschooling,
and also here.
photo by Sandra Dodd

No stopping place

The edge of unschooling is not a solid line. It will depend on the principles by which a family intends to live, and the philosophy of learning and parenting through which they see the world.

For me, learning has no stopping place, and so there are not days or places or times that are "learning time" (or unschooling time) and others that are "time out" or time off. (Well, there's that one holiday, Learn Nothing Day, July 24.)

page 38 (or 41) of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Leiden
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A world of difference

Mary Gold wrote: Just a little change in point of view can make a world of difference. I used to HATE the resentment of "Why should *I* do this?" and so I just decided to change what I thought about what "this" was and why anyone had to do it. It was a philosophical shift. BINGO! It's the shift that makes all the difference. —Mary Gold

SandraDodd.com/chores/shift
photo by Sandra Dodd

Where learning happens

All the learning takes place inside the learner. None can be inserted by a teacher.

SandraDodd.com/interview
photo by Sandra Dodd

Seeing through eyes of gratitude

Ren wrote:

Seeing our life work, our choices through the eyes of gratitude changes everything. When financial difficulties set in, I can be grateful for our health, for our togetherness and the true wealth we DO enjoy in this country. When I'm sick, I can be grateful I have family to care for me and that I can recover from whatever is ailing me, unlike many folks suffering much worse fates."

—Ren Allen

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Economics

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

When you only allow a limited amount of TV, then the marginal utility of a little more tv is high and every other option looks like a poor one, comparatively. Watching more TV becomes the focus of the person's thinking, since the marginal utility is so high. Relax the constraints and, after a period of adjustment and experimentation to determine accurate marginal utilities, the focus on TV will disappear and it will become just another option.

—Pam Sorooshian
from "Economics of Restricting TV Watching of Children"

SandraDodd.com/t/economics
(in French: Limiter le temps passé devant la télé – le point de vue économique )
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sometimes, wait.

Sometimes attending to someone means giving them space and quiet and waiting until they have rested or calmed down or thought about what they want to say before you press them to listen or speak. Inattentive parents miss those cues sometimes.

from page 65 (or 70) of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
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It's a marvel.

Meredith Novak wrote:

"Kids learn because they are full of curiosity and wonder. That's big. It's a marvel. Wondering is what takes people—including children—from observation to something else, to asking questions and looking for answers. To trying and finding out. Wondering is one of the reasons people push through challenges—climb real mountains and metaphorical ones. You can't Give someone that kind of motivation; it only comes from deep within. Sadly, you can take it away, and teaching someone who doesn't really want to be taught is a proven way of doing so."

—Meredith Novak

The quote in larger context is at the link above,
and you can read more about wonder here: SandraDodd.com/wonder.
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a WWII pillbox outside a UK aircraft factory

Quicker and sooner

\The more quickly you empty your cup and open yourself to new ideas uncritically, the sooner you will see natural learning blossom.

SandraDodd.com/deschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
Yvoire, on Lake Geneva

Nice and often

Be as nice to your child as you can be, as often as you can be.

Partnerships and Teams in the Family
photo by Sandra Dodd

Trained like a cat

I had a friend when my kids were single-digit ages. After she hung out with our family a while, she decided she would unschool just like we did. Before long she explained to me her liberal total-unschooling policy on her son's reading. He was eight or nine. She told him he could read any book he wanted to, as long as he finished any book he started.

Quicker than training a cat not to get on the table, she trained him not to start any books at all.

SandraDodd.com/finishwhatyoustart
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Look up!

Those who are negative, pessimistic, and hateful will find it difficult to even want to unschool. Those who are cynical and critical can unschool but their progress will be slow, until they learn to see the sunshine and clouds and trees instead of the dirty cracks in the stupid sidewalk.


Antidote: SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Thinking and acting

If you don't think before you act, if you don't consider two options, then you haven't made a choice. If you don't think before you act, you have acted thoughtlessly.

SandraDodd.com/listen/london2011
photo by Sandra Dodd
of a woodpile at Fort l'Écluse

Cowtrails

"Flexibility to pursue tangents and cowtrails, and continuing to see the wonder in everyday things will lead to learning experiences without prior planning."

SandraDodd.com/puddle
photo by Sandra Dodd

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A "cowtrail" isn't a cattle trail. It's a little path worn by cattle walking single file in the same place, for years, between water and some favorite shade or gathering place. Sometimes they're called "cow paths." Sometimes little kids can follow them better than adults can, because the cattle might have gone under branches, tunnel-like.

As big as the world

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

If you look at school and curriculum objectively rather than the fonts of knowledge they're touted to be, it's easier to see how hugely limiting they are.

Kids are stuck inside memorizing facts about life and the world from someone predigested facts about it.

Unschooled kids are out in the world learning as humans are designed to learn: by gathering in what they observe and pulling understanding from it.

Schooled kids lives are limited. Unschooled kids lives are as big as the world around them. And with the internet and TV, that's practically infinite!

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joycefetteroll
photo by Sandra Dodd

See beauty in...

It's easy to see beauty in nature. It's good to learn to see beauty in tables, cloth, air, spoons, socks, switches, handles, doorknobs, words, sounds, air, clouds, breeze, and ideas.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd

Change the world

If by "change the world" a person means "make the world better," then step #1 must be to decide right then not to make the world worse.

Accidents sometimes make the world worse, and carelessness, and flukes of weather and acts of God. But if a personal decision makes the world worse, then what?

There are different levels of "oops"—didn't know, didn't think, forgot, didn't care, was pisssed off or drunk, was furious and wanted to do damage... What can be undone? What can be atoned for?

The world starts to get better when people stop making it worse, and a person's life starts to get better when he consciously decides to do what is better instead of what is worse in any given moment.

Philosophy, or That's what it's all about!
photo by Sandra Dodd