Thursday, January 17, 2019

Faith and trust

Many times parents have created a situation in which a child trusts advertising, or trusts strangers. Sometimes, it comes from the mom being so pushy that the child wants to push back. Other times, it comes from the moms being so definite and inflexible, that when one thing she said proves not to have been true, the child loses faith in other things she says.

original, on facebook, about food restrictions

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Janine Davies

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Clear good sense

A mom wrote:
My children (11 and 7) have eaten more sweets than if I had controlled and restricted them, but our relationship wouldn't have been as sweet, and they would have had stress and longing, sneaking and guilt, and none of that would have been healthy. They wouldn't have had a good sense of what they feel like eating, and what they don't. Those internal senses don't come through clearly, when you're pressured and shamed and stressed.
—Cathy Choo
(in a comment here)

Similar: SandraDodd.com/eating/choices
photo by Sandra Kardaras-Flick

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

The clock isn't hungry

Perhaps "eating by the clock" has roots in European manor houses filled with servants, where the lady of the house got to choose the times of meals (within the narrow window of what was considered right and proper). In more modern times, eating by the clock has to do with factory lunch breaks and with school bells.



Don't be the clock's mother. Don't watch the clock to see if it's time to eat. Watch your child. Or watch the clock to see if it's time to offer another snack, but don't let the clock say "not yet" or "Must EAT!"

It isn't good parenting or self control for an adult who has reproduced to be looking to a mechanical device to make decisions for her. Clocks are great for meeting people at a certain time, but they were never intended to be an oracle by which mothers would decide whether to pay attention to a child or not. Your child knows whether he's hungry. You don't. The clock doesn't either, never did, and never will.

From page 163 of The Big Book of Unschooling.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Monday, January 14, 2019

Peaceful and stable

Jen Keefe wrote:

Every day my husband and I understand better how to create an environment so that our kids can learn. This involves making our home more peaceful and stable, making sure our kids have food, water, comfortable clothes, and good places to sit, work and sleep. It involves paying attention so that we can find resources to offer to support whatever thing they are currently learning about. It requires that they feel safe, respected, valued, appreciated, and loved.
—Jen Keefe

Jen, on facebook
(If you don't have facebook, look at Building an Unschooling Nest, maybe.)
photo by Renee Cabatic

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Life itself

What is Sandra's message? If I were going to sum it up, I would say it is that life itself always presents opportunities for learning, but that often we miss it, or dismiss it.
—Amy Milstein,
years ago,
on her blog
SandraDodd.com/feedback
photo by Becky Sekeres

Saturday, January 12, 2019

People are different

Julie Daniel wrote:

One of the things that I really liked about the home education group was that the children were all different ages so Adam never realised that he was unusual in being able to read so early. Of course he knew that some children at the group could read and that some couldn't but in his mind that was just part of the concept that everyone is different - some children could run really fast and some were slow. Some children could go all the way across the monkey bars without letting go and some couldn't. Reading was like that. Some could, some couldn't. He didn't seem to notice until he was quite a lot older that he was an "early reader". And I liked that. It wouldn't have been possible in a school environment.
—Julie Daniel

The lead-up to that is here: SandraDodd.com/julie
photo by Sandra Dodd

Friday, January 11, 2019

Be the calming comfort

Sometimes life is spooky and frightening. Sometimes children are afraid.

Be the comforting, safe partner. Don't be another source of spooky discomfort.

Practice being braver and calmer so that when life is scary you have enough courage and confidence to share.
SandraDodd.com/nest/
photo by Karen James

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