Creating comfort

Help make your child comfortable where he is today, this hour, this moment.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Cátia Maciel

Hours and days of joyful time

Response to this:

I tend to err on the side of just spending time together.

Don't think of it as erring.

And don't think of it as "just" spending time together.

SPEND freely of copious hours and days of joyful time together.

Don't just spend time together.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Rosie Moon

"Life is more fun now."

Amy (amylizkid1) wrote:

I love these moments. The other night I was making dinner, and dd (5) says "While you're up, could you get me my gummy worms?" The old me probably would have barked something about how I was in the middle of making dinner. But I said "Okay" in a pleasant way. She says "Mom, what's right and what's left?" So I look around the corner at her and say "Your left hand is holding the remote, your right is holding your head." ds: "Okay, they're on the left side of my cupboard."

It seems like such a little thing, but I was so happy that I had given her the space to figure out something that she was interested in, instead of shutting her down with my crankiness. Change does feel good, and I love all these lovely, simple moments we have now. I love that life is more fun now.

— Amy

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Cátia Maciel

Peaceful acceptance

When kids trust that parents would give them more options if they could, it adds to peaceful acceptance.

If I had magic to make it all easier, I would share it with all of you.

Sandra,
just as Covid lockdowns began in 2020

Options in real life
photo by Rosie Moon

Quizzes can fizzle

This story has just been added to my site. It was told in 2003, when Marty was fourteen and Holly was twelve or so.

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My husband's oldest brother came to visit and [Holly] and Marty discussed how to deal with his quizzy questions, usually math. She told me a story from when she was littler, maybe eight. Uncle Gerry had been here, and Holly was brushing her teeth. He stood watching her, and started in about how important it is to brush teeth and floss, because (as Holly reported, he said in a teacherly voice) "Do you know how many sets of teeth you have in this lifetime?"

Holly said, "Two?" (in a kind of "is this a trick question" tone) and she said he was already holding up his index finger as the "one" of the coming "right answer," and he added another finger and sheepishly said, "That's right. Two."

So Holly won a big point and never even told us about it at the time. Cool story. I don't think he quizzed them this time.

Better Answers
photo by Sarah Dickinson

The world is a wonder

Jihong Tang wrote:

Relevancy is very important in learning. I knew wax's melting point by heart but freaked out when it melted so fast while I was doing project with my [four-year-old son]. I never played with wax before. I knew physics on paper very well but played with pulleys in real life just recently. I knew areodynamics from school but had real appreciation of it through flying kite with my son.

Unschooling my children sparkles my curiosity and burning desire to learn. The world is a wonder!

—Jihong Tang, 2010

SandraDodd.com/learning (the quote isn't there, but the ideas are)
photo by Megan Valnes

Sharing time and space

Connections are the best part of learning, in unschooling, in life, for fun. But if it’s too noisy too often, a quiet moonrise over a lake will get all sound-polluted. And one person’s thoughts of beauty might be overrun by someone else’s free associations.

Gaze without speaking / Explore Connections
photo by Janine Davies

Beyond normal

Being a good parent, not according to a list in a magazine, or vague memories of what grandparents might have thought or said, but being a good parent in the eyes of one's children, in one's examined soul, is a big thing most parents never even see a glimpse of.

We can go beyond normal.

SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Janine Davies

Being and providing

Being the sort of parent you wish you had had, and providing an environment you would like to have had as a child, is probably the easiest and most direct way to move toward being a good unschooler.

photo by Janine
words by Sandra, in a fleeting context