The sky

"Look at those sticks poking out of the sky!!" —Gail Higgins the photographer What you see is what you think.

SandraDodd.com/perspective.html
photo by Gail Higgins

Easier, more fun, more peaceful

With my oldest in particular it took me a long time to switch gears from, "How as the adult can I get them to listen to me?" to "How as the adult, the person with the most resources and the most developed brain, can I make this easier, more fun, more peaceful for everyone?" That shift will make the transitions easier, but it takes time and should be done slowly.

—Emily Knotts

SandraDodd.com/gradualchange.html
photo by Lisa J Haugen

A safer home

Deep breaths change everything, for a few moments.
...When a parent learns to calm herself, or himself, many things happen. The home becomes safer. The parent becomes more reliable and more trustworthy. The children can make more choices without fear.

When a parent can learn to take one deep, calming breath while deciding what to do, the parent becomes wiser and more patient.

When a person knows how to calm herself, she can help others.

When children learn how to calm themselves, because the parents have helped them, because the parents understood how to do it, the children have more personal range and power, because they will be more reliable and trustworthy and able to maintain their calm, thoughtful, rational minds.

SandraDodd.com/breathing
photo by Gail Higgins

P.S. It doesn't work every time, but without practice, it won't work any time.

More than possible

Lyle Perry wrote:

"I know how scary it is to think about letting go of what's 'normal', and I know it seems impossible to think about your kids learning on their own, but it's all very possible. More than possible. It's waiting to happen."

—Lyle Perry

SandraDodd.com/lists/lyle
photo by Gail Higgins
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Positively happier

When people ask about being happier and more positive, the answer can't help but be the same. BE happier. BE positive.

More positive
photo by Karen James, "the last sunset of 2018"

Clearly

Writing is thinking clearly. For unschoolers writing will be helped by a kid having the confidence that if someone asks him about a movie or the lyrics of a song, that person will listen to his report, and to his opinion, and if he's misheard the words or misunderstood the plot, that they will help him understand it.

a nice match for Untangling Ideas, but the quote is from Seeing Writing
photo by Gail Higgins
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Another starting place

Don't do what you don't understand.

Q: Any gentle methods of a peaceful bedtime after not having one for a while? A: I think being honest and saying, "This isn't working. I took some bad advice. Your dad REALLY needs to sleep quietly, and I do too, so let's come up with a better plan..." would be the starting place. —Sandra Dodd

SandraDodd.com/sleep
photo by Lisa J Haugen

Sky show

Free show! Look up.

Trees change, clouds change, you might see stars, or the moon. Birds or flying machines might make special appearances.

Feel the air on your face. Breathe in peace. Summon up your gratitude.

From his perspective, a younger, smaller person might look up and see you, in the sky show.

Same sky, another view
photo by Sandra Dodd
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The mysteries of the world

Being new to the world, and you being his host (and partner), any light you can shed on the mysteries of the world, and any clues you can give him on what's likely to happen and what's expected of him would be good for all concerned. Advise him what might happen at a wedding reception, or a birthday party, or at a place he's never been to before. Show him how to eat a new food he hasn't seen. Help put him at ease if he's nervous. Provide him all the coaching and reassurance he wants, and no more than he wants.

SandraDodd.com/guest
photo by Karen James

Bigger, friendlier world

Karen James wrote:

Unschooling, done with too much attention on the one way of living being the only right way, can make the world seem smaller, scarier and full of confrontation.

Unschooling done with the understanding it's one choice among many, makes the world a bigger, friendlier, more dynamic place.

—Karen James

Find your options
photo by Hinano
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When to whine

If you notice you're angry or complaining, back away a bit, physically or mentally or emotionally, and see how big the problem really is, from a different perspective.

There is a cloud...
photo by Sandra Dodd

Seeing

Most of what happens in the world, I will never see.

Most of what happens in my own back yard, I don't see.

Most of what I see, I don't understand, or fully consider. That's the way the world is. That's the way people are.

You will see some beauty.
You will understand some things.

Seeing and being
photo by Ester Siroky
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Living lightly

Living lightly is part of the joy of unschooling.



Airy and bright
photo by Kirby Dodd
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Be positively Positive!

Negativity is contagious and cancels out joy and hope. Some people are just casually negative without realizing it. Their first response to anything is likely to be derisive. It's like a disease, and they infect their friends and relatives. Eye rolling, tongue-clucking, dramatic sighs... It's emotional littering. Save them for emergencies.

Seeing and Avoiding Negativity
photo by Shonna Morgan
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All seasons

Time out.

It's December, and I live at a high elevation at 35 degrees latitude. It's freezing.

I like this butterfly photo from Chrissy, though. And it's good to remember that Just Add Light and Stir has readers near the equator, in India and Hawaii; in New Zealand, Australia, South Africa; in Alaska, Canada, Scotland. Maybe it's winter, maybe it's summer, maybe the days are long, or short.

We can all share this butterfly and blue sky today.

SandraDodd.com/geography
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Trust can grow

"There are many things one can trust as one begins unschooling. Draw on what you know about your child, your partner and yourself to nurture confidence. Trust in unschooling will deepen and grow as one gains understanding and experience. Oh! Which reminds me! I trusted that others who had unschooled their children successfully before me knew some things (a lot of things, it turned out) that could help me. That trust grew as I tried some of the things people suggested and they proved to be very useful."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/trust
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Live safely

A common question is how to "make" children hold the mom's hand. It helps to live in such a way that the child wants to hold the mom's hand.
. . . .

Make yourself your child's safest place in the world, and many of your old concerns will just disappear.

The Big Book of Unschooling, page 67
(pages 72-73 in newer edition)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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You can't see it all

No matter how far you look, you can't see it all.

No matter how hard you squint, you won't understand everything.

Rejoice in what you see and know.

SandraDodd.com/angles
photo by Gail Higgins

Radiation

"Radical" means from the roots—radiating from the source. The knowledge that learning is natural to humans can radiate forth from that point in every direction.

SandraDodd.com/terminology
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Unfolding, unfurling

[To the frequently voiced complaint that the word "unschooling" seems negative, this was written years ago and has not been bested:]

"Lots of people make this point, but I never see the negation as negative in a value-judgment sense when I use the word—to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting....

"All mean freedom and growth and vast possibilities to me."

—Zann Carter

Definitions of Unschooling
photo by Rose Sorooshian
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