Where do you draw the line?

I love the pattern on that wall, in Spain. I've never seen it, only this photo, but it flows, like art, like dance, like a fluttery ribbon, even though it is made of brick, concrete, rocks and plaster.


"He can't even draw a straight line," is an insult that makes no sense, of an artist. Why should an artist draw a straight line? Here is some formidable art, bigger than a drawing.

Look for the art that sneaks up on you.

Unexpected, perhaps—and art
photo by Ester Siroky
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Details

There are different ways of seeing, and different things to see, even in the same scene, or object.


Look more closely
photo by Ester Siroky
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Familiar and unfamiliar

If everything is unfamiliar, it's hard to think about what it is at all. If everything is too familiar, it can escape notice and conscious thought.

Learning happens best at the edge, where something familiar has a difference. Something is not the same, in an otherwise understandable scene.



Angle
photo by Ester Siroky

Choices, and benefits

Once upon a time, someone complained about me in a discussion: "I am quite sure you have nothing better to do."

What would be better for me to do than helping people who honestly want the help?

That day I responded:

"Nothing better to do" was intended to be an insult, surely, but choosing what to do in any given moment is part of living a mindful life. Some people choose to insult. Some people choose to explain. Some choose to leave. Some choose to stay. But THIS isn't where unschooling is. Unschooling is in the relationships between parents and children. That should be the topic of every post—what will help parents find ways to be unschooling parents for the benefit of their children and of the family as a whole. Because there can be secondary benefits.
And, that day, I linked to this entry in Just Add Light and Stir:
Good person, good parent
photo by Ester Siroky

Not just the world....

If by "change the world" a person means "make the world better," then step #1 must be to decide right then not to make the world worse.

If you replace "world" with "marriage," that idea could still change the world.
Other words you could use insead of "world":

• party
  
• road trip
  
• dinner
  
• visit
  
• camp-out
  
• bathtime
  
• grocery shopping...

SandraDodd.com/philosophy
photo by Ester Siroky
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"Why do we do this?"

Even in the long term, unschooling is not about the completion of a project at all. It’s about becoming the sort of people who see and appreciate and trust that learning can happen. And who can travel with children, not just drag them along or push them along, but who can travel with children along those interesting paths together not until you get there, but indefinitely.

And for beginning unschoolers that sounds also a little esoteric, a little foofy. And not solid. They want to know what do I do when the kids wake up in the morning? So, the beginning information is very often, “What do I do?” But the information that will get people from the beginning to the intermediate is why. "Why do we do this?"

Changes in Parents
photo by Ester Siroky

The quote is from a podcast episode of Pam Laricchia interviewing me.
I tweaked the quote just slightly, capitalizing "even"
and using "unschooling" rather than "it."

A wonderful thing

"One of the wonderful things about unschooling is that we come to understand that children are learning all the time. Knowing that, we can make thoughtful choices about how we'd like to influence that learning. We cannot control what is learned, but we can create an environment in which joyful learning can thrive."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/patience
photo by Cátia Maciel
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In bits & pieces

Caren Knox wrote:

I don't even think about learning any more. It's not something I can quantify, or say how it's happening for anyone other than me — and quite frequently, I can't for me, either. It's organic. It's in bits & pieces so small we don't notice.

It's in this or that conversation, chance meeting, or something we come across on google. I can say, "I want to learn the lyrics to I'm Yours" so I google that, but who can say what I learn along the way?...

—Caren Knox

How do they learn? (Caren Knox responding)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Real things

Life. People can live lives, even little kids live lives, without preparation, learning on the job, as they go. They can learn while doing real things with real happiness and real success.

SandraDodd.com/connections/cocktail
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Relationships are better

"I wish I had known about unschooling from the start, and never done anything else.

"The net effect is (with unschooling), we're all happier. We're less stressed. We have our own schedule - or lack of schedule - not one imposed on us by school, or even homeschooling. The kids' relationship with their dad is better. MY relationship with their dad is better."

A now-anonymous part of the collection "If Only I'd Started Sooner..."
SandraDodd.com/ifonly
photo by Megan Valnes

Doing it

Until a person stops doing the things that keep unschooling from working, unschooling can't begin to work.

It seems simple to me. If you're trying to listen for a sound, you have to stop talking and be still.

Some people want to see unschooling while they're still teaching and putzing and assigning and requiring.

They have to stop that FIRST. And then they have to be still. And then they have to look at their child with new eyes.

If they don't, it won't happen.

SandraDodd.com/doit
photo by Sukayna, in Lebanon

More doors

We are here now. We have been other places in the past. We will be in surprising places in the future.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Peace inside

Peace, like learning, is largely internal.

Mother Teresa could have found a more peaceful place than Calcutta, but she was helping people find peace in non-peaceful surroundings.

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sukayna
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Old and new

New things are added to old things. Antiques are repaired. New children meet old people. Forgotten toys are re-discovered.

Change is part of growth, of life, of past and of future.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd

Beyond the door

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

A computer, a hand held game, an iPod are doors that lead to a vast world of experiences. Just as your front door leads to a vast world of many different things you can do. Would you refer to all the things your family does by going through your front door—walks, shopping, visiting friends, mowing the lawn, vacations—as "door stuff"?

. . . .

Stop looking at the door. See the richness that exists beyond the door.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/screentime.html
photo by Sandra Dodd
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A mysterious little door

Sometimes a litle door might be literal, or sometimes figurative, but little doors can lead to many wonderful things! All the doors you've ever seen are connected in you. They open into all different places and spaces in your memory and your imagination.


Hidden secret rooms...
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Inside, outside

Where I didn't expect to see it, there was a small, quiet, mysterious depth. A beautiful plant was growing from it.

It reminded me of every good thing about learning and parenting.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd

Softer words

Some parents express their learning as "struggle" or "challenge," but those words are antagonistic. Try to relax, and try not to feel that you're wrestling (with your child's desires, or with your own thoughts).

If you can find softer words, you will experience softer emotions.


SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a flowering plant
growing out of a rain spout
on a castle
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Tricky, trickier...

Jeanette: This life is deceptively difficult, and yet so simple! Sandra: It’s trickier than it looks, and once the tricks are learned, it’s easy!

SandraDodd.com/moments
photo by Sam Baykus

Connect, inspire, trust and help

"I learn every day how to have a better partnership with my children and spouse, how to connect, inspire, trust and help. And now that I have learned how to read without my emotions interpreting the emails for me, the message is consistently the same—be loving, gentle and sweet with your children, *be* with your children, live joyfully." —Rippy Dusseldorp referring to Always Learning

SandraDodd.com/feedback/rippy
photo by Sandra Dodd