Waiting for proof?

Schuyler Waynforth wrote, some years ago:

If I'd decided to wait until a respected research body verified what people on lists like this are sharing from their own lives, Simon and Linnaea would be in school and our lives wouldn't be filled with the learning that happens just being us. And it will never be verified, because it is something that takes a single-mindedness of purpose that I would never have thought I was capable of. Which means that it isn't something that everyone can do. Not because they aren't necessarily capable of it, although that may be the case for some, but because they don't have as their goal "to help a child be who she is and blossom into who she will become."

—Schuyler

SandraDodd.com/proof
self-portrait of two Hollies by Holly Dodd
and it's a link
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Gather and glean

I've always felt strongly that unschooling should be about the ideas and not about the individuals. No one book, website, speaker or conference should try to be (nor be expected to be) everything for anyone, but unschooling parents should gather and glean what they can from all the real world around them. We don't need to all agree, or all be on the same list or at the same conference for families to learn and grow with unschooling.

SandraDodd.com/speakingLnL
photo by Karen James

A series of selves

Today is Marty's wedding day. I don't yet know how to be the mother of a married person. This is new to me. It is new to all of us.

Yesterday, we stopped for fuel as the sun was rising, in Holbrook, Arizona. I wanted a panoramic photo, but one lone bird was in the shot. I took another without the bird, but when I got a chance to look at them closely, the bird was the best part—repeated as if by magic. That series of positions made me think of Marty's first 25 years, and my gratitude for having aided and witnessed his early growth.


Marty views the world through his own eyes. He is seeing each moment with all his gathered knowledge and wisdom.

I see Marty in all his stages. I remember learning I was expecting a second child. His eyes, when he was a newborn, were full of thoughts. He was gentle, and strong, as he grew. He was patient, and sweet. In each of his stages and sizes, his newnesses seemed to create a new and different Marty. His face changed, his smile, his voice, his shape, and hair. In my heart I have been collecting the whole set.

SandraDodd.com/marty
The photo can be clicked to enlarge.

New and different

If an experience is new and different, children learn.

SandraDodd.com/beginning
photo by Sandra Dodd

Looking closely

Karen James wrote:

Ethan and I are playing a game where one of us takes a close up picture of something in our yard, and the other one has to find it. Here's a sampling...



Sandra, I thought of this quote from Just Add Light and Stir as I was playing this game with Ethan today: "Some families travel. Some stay in one place, and come to know that place well."

It's interesting too, as I sit here and look at these photos again, that there's not anything particularly exotic about our back yard—it's kind of overgrown and weedy (as you might have guessed from a couple of the photos)—yet it looks so beautiful from this perspective. Especially that middle one. (Ethan was proud of that one.)

More exploring without leaving: SandraDodd.com/museum
The quote first said "...the quote from today's Just Add light..."

photos by Karen and Ethan James

See them

Find your child's strengths and joys.

words by Sandra Dodd on Radical Unschooling Info, a facebook group
photo by Dylan Lewis, on a solo trip to Italy
Click the photo to read things by Deb Lewis, his mom.

Be that kind of person

Be the kind of person you want your child to be.

Nurture your own curiosity and joy.

Find gratitude and abundance.

Explore. Make connections, on your own.

Sandra Dodd, on Unschooling, for the Do Life Right Teleconference 2012
photo by Holly Dodd
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Little adjustments

Solve problems before they become problems. (Part of being present!) Notice the direction things are heading and change things. Don't let them get hungry, tired, testy to the point where they're hitting or destroying things. Food. Naps. Go home. Put on a video. Draw one away to do something totally different.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/being/healing
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Seeing and being

At the Radical Unschooling Info page on Facebook, an unschooling mom named Rachel Marie was clarifying for someone new to the idea of unschooling:

Unschooling looks different for everyone and that's why you are having trouble nailing it down.


I felt the same when I started. It's nearly impossible to describe because every kid is different and since unschooling is about focusing on your child as an individual, then it's going to be different for everyone.

If I were to say unschooling looks like laying on a quilt at night, looking at the stars and talking about constellations or it looks like taking long car drives just for the sole purpose of having long winded discussions about every single US war in history, there would be 30 people who popped in and said that's not what it looks like at all, because their kids aren't interested in those things.

Unschooling isn't about where or how you learn something, it isn't about doing what everyone else is doing. It's about creating a rich environment for your naturally curious child to learn things that spark their interest. If you can do that, you'll be headed in the right direction.

—Rachel Marie

SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Holly Dodd, of her projection of an eclipse
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John Holt

John Holt's writing is different, and inspiring. He involved himself in schools and saw problems and successes from a different perspective than anyone else I've ever read.


John Holt had no children so he himself wasn't an unschooler, but he inspired others to do things differently from school, to avoid testing and rote learning. He encouraged people to respect children and to give them a great range of experiences and opportunities.

John Holt wrote about learning outside of schools, for about ten years. Since then, many families have raised children to adulthood without any school or schooling at all. I wish he could know Roya, Roxana and Rosie Sorooshian. I wish he could spend some time with Kathryn Fetteroll. How cool would it be if he could pop in for the day at a big unschooling conference in San Diego and meet a couple of hundred twenty-first-century unschooled kids all in the same place?

SandraDodd.com/johnholt
photo by Holly Dodd, of herself, taken with a camera that was new
when John Holt was teaching school.
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Wishes

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

I wish things for our family had been different earlier than later, but it is what it is. Unschooling really helped make us better people. I can't even imagine, or rather I can, how different things would be with our relationships with our kids if they'd been in school all these years. Kids absorb the good and the bad. Unschooling really focuses on the good, and that's, well, GOOD! —Jenny Cyphers

"If Only I'd Started Sooner..."
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Unexpected discovery

My children have never asked, "Do we have to learn this?" They don't have to learn anything. So everything is equally fun for them. The joy of unexpected discovery is the substance of a typical unschooling day.

Typical Unschooling Day (Presidents)
photo by Holly Dodd
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Wonderful!

I was being interviewed and said that living with joy and wonder made life more joyful and... wonderful! Living with wonder makes life wonderful.

SandraDodd.com/wonder
photo by Sandra Dodd

Range of thought

My children discuss behavior and social interactions as easily as they discuss Nintendo or their own cats and dogs. When I was their age, psychology, comparative religion and anthropology were far in my future. My kids might not have much formal terminology, but they're extremely conversant and certainly can think in those areas without knowing they're too young (by the book) to do so. They understand well that there are many versions of historical events. They understand that there are different ways to act in different situations, and with people who have particular beliefs and preferences. Some adults could use knowing that.

SandraDodd.com/zeneverything
photo by Holly Dodd
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Collecting

Some people collect things. Even those who don't gather and store physical objects might like hearing all of one artist's music, or seeing all the movies by a single director. I used to want to go into every public building or business in my home town. I never succeeded, but I saw each building as "yes, have been inside," or "not yet."

It might not make sense to a parent that a child wants to save feathers or rocks or movie ticket stubs. That's okay. What's important is that the unschooling parent accept that there is thought involved that might not need to make sense to anyone else. If possible, the child's whims and wishes about such things should be accepted and supported.

SandraDodd.com/focus
photo by Holly Dodd

Little things

You can find wonder and learning in little details you might not have seen if someone else didn't say "Look..."
When Marty was a year old, we went to the zoo. We were trying to show him white tigers, but he was looking at a fat barrier rope with a crow on it. To a child so new to the world, both were equally rare and wondrous.

We can't always know what will be interesting or important to another person.

photo by Holly Dodd

"How should parents teach?"

Each family should live a rich life of thoughtful exploration.

Most people think of "exploring" as going to new places, but exploring ideas, music, foods, games and each other's experiences and stories, within a family or group of friends, creates an environment of learning. Exploring new places is good too, even if they're in your own neighborhood. Taking a different route or going to a different shop will spark learning in a child.

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The writing above was in response to a question from a reporter,
and it seemed worth sharing.
photo by Holly Dodd
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Natural...rich...respect

Unschooling is arranging for natural learning to take place. It involves having a rich environment and respecting children's ideas and interests.



That definition is from an April 2010 interview, Why I Unschooled My Three Kids
The photo is Holly, by Holly.

"Just Add Light and Stir"

The name of this project is lifted from an article on deschooling:


Remember school. Take a breath and picture your favorite, clearest school year. See all the elements of its form and organization. Is it vivid?

Okay. Here is how you learn NOT to overlay all that on your unschooling life where its structure and terminology will disturb the peace and hinder progress. I am asking you to take your school memories, add light, and stir.

Providing a rich life for one's child is a healing opportunity for the parent.
SandraDodd.com/deschooling

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This first-ever post had images from out and about. Thereafter, photos were almost always by an from someone in an unschooling family. In retrospect (from 2024), seeing the original quote, I wish I had named the blog "Add Light and Stir." Retrospection can be irritating, but rearview-mirror photos are very cool. Click here to see some!

Thank you for reading.