Kirby is married

Kirby, our oldest, was married October 14, 2016. The wedding was in the foothills of the Sandia. The reception was at "Event Palace," a rental facility, but the party (with karaoke) moved to our house and is still going on while it's time for me to create this post. So I will report a new daughter-in-law, many compliments tonight on Kirby, Marty and Holly all, and gratitude that Kirby's new wife loves him.


SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo of Kirby and Destiny singing "A Whole New World,"
with her sister listening
by Sandra Dodd

A thousand to one

For unschooling to work, parents need to stop looking into the future and live more in the moment with their real child. BEING with a child is being where the child is, emotionally and spiritually and physically and musically and artistically. Seeing where the child *is* rather than seeing a thousand or even a dozen places she is not.

SandraDodd.com/being/with
photo by Chrissy Florence

Hearts renewed

Yesterday's post went out in e-mail with the title "Light on light." It should have been "Bright and glowing." You might think "Same same—light is light," but there was a post called Light on Light already. I'm particular about light, sometimes. Okay, I'm more particular about words about light.

Here's a verse I wrote for a Christmas card twenty years ago, and today's the best day for it.

Abundant joy,    a special toy,       warmth and firelight,          carols at twilight; Memories of old,    children to hold,       comforting food,          and hearts renewed.

Twenty-year-old Christmas card
art by Kirby Dodd and a team, in 1994
Light on light

Bright and glowing

"I am noting how happy and light (light as in gentle, and bright and glowing) our daily interactions are compared to the past."

—Dominique Trussler

photo by Julie D, gingerbread train __

Monstrous fun

What seems small to an adult can be the best thing in a child's season! Their imaginations are big and you can help them make magic. Energy is shared, and that's how unschooling works. Whether I'm excited about something new, or my children are excited about something new, there's still newness and excitement enough to share.

The second paragraph is from "Balancing in the Middle Ground"
photo by PhoebeWyllyamz

Boo!

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Please don't cry. It's just me.

SandraDodd.com/halloween
photo by Sandra Dodd

Candy and the future

A reminder! If you haven't bought candy yet, get the best candy you can afford. If no one comes by, you still have it! If it all goes out into the community, it makes you a better person and your house will have sweeter associations for children who might grow up remembering.

from Halloween Candy and Choices or "Candy Gets Dusty"
photo by Sylvia Woodman

None of it and all of it

How much time does unschooling take? It depends how you look at it. If you're looking for moments of one-on-one instruction or school work, it takes none of that. If you're looking for hours of mindful living with the hope and expectation of learning, then it will take all your time. If you come to see and understand unschooling, then the question about how much time it takes will seem like asking "How many hours a day are you alive?"

Page 6 of The Big Book of Unschooling,
which leads to SandraDodd.com/howto
photo by Sandra Dodd

Let them show you!

Unless your children are given a real opportunity to show you how children learn, to show you that it works, you will not see it.

SandraDodd.com/seeingit
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Just life

When Kirby was 13 he was asked whether he liked homeschooling better than school. Most 13 year olds asked a question by an adult will look down and mumble "It's okay," or "I like it." Kirby made eye contact and said "I've never been to school. I have no basis for comparison."

So with no basis for comparison, my kids have just life.

(writing from 2004; can't find to link)

Look for joy

Look for joy inside and outside of you.

SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

In other worlds...

How many worlds can one world hold?

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Julie D (click it for context)
__

Happy mom

A mom was worried about intellectualizing too much, and not being fully present with her young child. I wrote:

Nobody's still and at kid-speed all the time. But if you can figure out how to do it sometimes, then you can choose to do it, or choose to go faster, but to bring him along in a happy way.

Instead of saying "Come on, let's go!" maybe you could have picked him up and twirled him around and said something sweet and by the time he knows it he's fifty yards from there, but happy to be with his happy mom.

From the "possibilities and joy" section of Parenting Peacefully
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Your Own Certain Knowledge

Vague interest can turn to trust in others' accounts of learning and of parenting successes. Trust in those stories can give us courage to experiment, and from that we can discover our own proofs and truths to share with newer unschoolers, who might find courage from that to try these things themselves. Faith in others can only take us a little way, though, and then our own children's learning will carry us onward.


Some ideas become theories. A few theories might turn to convictions. Some early thoughts will be abandoned; others will gain substance. After much thought and use, what is left will be what you believe because you have lived it.

SandraDodd.com/knowledge
photo by Leon McNeill

England

I missed a day. Sunday was Joyce Fetteroll's birthday. She and Rippy Dusseldorp and I were in Delft to shop, and then went to Rotterdam to visit friends, and then back to Rippy's where I was very sleepy. Sitting in the Amsterdam airport following a flight cancellation, I realized I missed one, and won't be in a good place to look for quotes tonight, and so this will be my little offering to cover Monday and Tuesday, July 8-9, 2013.


I love England. Not sure why. Some people love some things without knowing why. This summer I will enter the UK three times (if we make it there okay tonight)—from the U.S., then from Portugal and now from The Netherlands. Into England five times, if I include crossing back in from Wales and from Scotland.

And so I am content. I have been to England enough.
I am grateful that my children are grown and there are people other than just their parents who love them and who are glad to see them and to know them.
Learn Nothing Day will arrive before long, and it will be a long day for me, 31 hours, because I'll be going home from England, on my birthday, to be met by my husband who loves me.

I like this blog and I'm sorry I missed a day.
I like my life, and I'm glad to have people to share various aspects of it with me.

SandraDodd.com/bio
photo by Sandra Dodd, of bunting—hand embroidered crowns, and appliqued Union Jacks, on triangular dags, put out for the Diamond Jubilee, but originally made for Queen Elizabeth's coronation

The more they get...

I often think back to the things I learned in La Leche League, from readings and other moms. If you nurse a child a long time does it make him dependent on the mom? Seems to be the opposite. If you hug a child every time he wants a hug, does it make him want a hug-a-day for life? You WISH!

The more they get, the less they need.
Photo of Kate Koetsier and her 10th Birthday cake by her mom, Cathy.
Quote from a very-early online chat for homeschoolers,
late 1995 or early 1996, SandraDodd.com/detox.