Peace and Joy

Life isn't all peace and joy. Many people will say that, and it's true.

With hopeful, positive intentions and with ever more mindful choices, there can be more peace, and more joy.

Being a Happy Mom

photo by Lydia Koltai

Still, think.

"For a lot of people, thinking too deeply about what they believe is too painful. It's just easier to do what was done to them."

—Deb Lewis

The quote is the end of something longer here: SandraDodd.com/rules
Encouragement to think, detox, recover: Deschooling (newly improved page)
photo by Lydia Koltai

A little success story

Kerryn wrote:

There have been fleeting moments of seeing unschooling at work in our house. I would love to share them with you all.

Just this evening the children were watching a Fred Astaire movie (we'd been talking about dancing/old movies etc for a while and happened upon a dvd yesterday) and a scene was showing a college student talking about 'passing'. My 9 year old said "What's passing?" My 5 year old said, "Silly, it's passing, you know, going past something."

I see this as a little success story. They've forgotten or have become unaware of grades, tests, and performance. Another step in our deschooling journey.

—Kerryn
Australia

Reports of "Seeing It"
SandraDodd.com/seeingitcomments
Photographer unknown; adults looking at a musician, child dancing, at an Always Learning Live event in Albuquerque. Perhaps this is one of Lydia Koltai's children. I'm sorry I don't know who took it.

Look closely

Look closely.

There are wonders at hand.

Look more closely
photo by Lydia Koltai

Patterns from reflection

Barbara Handley wrote:

"Quiet time is an integral aspect of self-discovery --- apparent periods of laziness can actually be the most fruitful intellectual and spiritual discovery times. Imagine a sand art frame...first you shake it and the result is a chaotic pattern of colored sand and water; then you let it rest. The sand falls to the bottom of the frame forming intricate and beautiful patterns which would never be revealed if you continued to shake the frame. The same applies to our process of positively integrating information so that we can make sense of the world; time for reflection and contemplation is a critical part of the process, allowing the patterns to be revealed."

—Barbara Handley

Quote's source
photo by Lydia Koltai

Sweet surprises

Find a comfortable way to relax into the flow of life, as often as you can, appreciating the sweet surprises along the way.

Round, coming around
photo by Lydia Koltai

Quieter, softer

Sometimes children are soft, in soft surroundings, and a mother's heart is soft.

Sometimes they're loud, sticky, and stinky. Sometimes moms are frazzled.

Remember the quieter times will be there, too. Help to soften their lives.

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Lydia Koltai
__

A kindness and a gift

Rather than tell a child in advance what's about to be seen, it can be wonderful to let them feel they've discovered something on their own. A surprise can be so stimulating that the memories will be more vivid. And the discovery becomes a personal accomplishment.

If the parent is surprised too, that's a bonus, but if you can allow for someone else to be surprised, it can be a kindness and a gift.

SandraDodd.com/surprise/
photo by Lydia Koltai

Calm is better

Calm is better than uptight.



SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Lydia Koltai

Nothing you "have to" hate

Try not to hate anything more than you "have to," and once you get to thinking more positively, you might find there's is nothing you have to hate.

SandraDodd.com/negativity
SandraDodd.com/haveto
photo by Lydia Koltai

Peace in the bank

Do what will help your baby. Be the gentlest, sweetest, most attentive mother you can possibly be, and you will be putting peace in the bank for you and your whole family.

Though that was written about infants, it could work with older kids, too!
SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Lydia Koltai

Most things are many things

Few things have only one name, one use, or one aspect. People have different roles and relationships, skills and traits. The same tree will look different in different stages, seasons, and times of day.

See things.
Appreciate them.

SandraDodd.com/awareness
photo by Lydia Koltai

---

February 29 is Frederic's birthday, in The Pirates of Penzance. That's a musical from 1879, with a 1983 film version—humor and artistry from the past two centuries, current again today.

Real, present, thinking children

Sandra Dodd, 2014, commentary on criticism:

How parents can ignore their own real, present, thinking children in favor of vague negativity and scare stories is a mystery.

Unschooling is not synonymous with anything. There are people who "unschool" except for…", and who "unschool mostly," but if their priorities are learning and peace, then arbitrary rules and decisions made on fear are less likely to seem like good ideas.

If an 11 year old is bummed, it might be worth really looking at his side of things. Being a child's partner in exploring the world is valuable in more ways than people can imagine, if they haven't done it. If the parent sees the child as an adversary who should be limited and made to wait until he's grown even to spend his own money, there will be more problems than they can imagine.

SandraDodd.com/partners/child

---

I've added that to the page Look Directly at your Child

The full text with background and discussion is here on Always Learning.

photo by Lydia Koltai

Thank you!

Yesterday there were two posts, by mistake. Today I will say thank you to readers, to those whose quotes I've used (usually from writings I've saved on my website), and to those who have taken beautiful and sweet photos and let me use them. This is post #2300 or so. A few dozen have been repeats. Sometimes a favorite quote has been re-run with a new photo and new title. Some are too short, some are too long. Several hundred have been just right.

Sometimes I'm too tired, and I'm getting old. I hope you won't mind when I miss one, and will consider it a win when my error nets you a bonus post.

Save a few of your favorites for a rainy day, and think lovely thoughts toward those folks who are quoted and credited when it's not my own words or photo (or yours), please. Thank you for reading.

Slowing down
photo by Lydia Koltai

Most things are many things

Few things have only one name, one use, or one aspect. People have different roles and relationships, skills and traits. The same tree will look different in different stages, seasons, and times of day.

See things.
Appreciate them.

SandraDodd.com/awareness
photo by Lydia Koltai

Now and then

Today I have seen two of my grown children. Keith saw all three, but not in the same place. We have three grandchildren. I saw two, today, but not at my house.

When your children are still young and with you, once in a while I hope you will look at them all, and maybe catch a photo. If you have one child who lives at home, breathe that in and know that it might not always be so.

Moving away or traveling, going to university, getting married, having children—those things are natural and fine. Time goes forward and people spread out. Today's reality is not what your younger self could have known. More waves of future will come along.

Find peace and appreciation and share it with your children.



Thoughts on growth
photo by Lydia Koltai

Be sweet and soft

Once a mom came and said she was having a hard time being present with her children. She wrote:

I hate it, and feel like I'm missing out on so many sweet, little moments, but it is so hard for me to be fully present, almost like I can't control it.

I responded:

Well don't hate it. Hate's no good. And you can't "control it." It might be easier to see it as a series of choices, with lots of chances to zone out, and lots of opportunities to focus back in.

People zone in and out all the time. It's not a sin. Live lightly. That's good for your children, if you can come back as easily as you slipped momentarily away, and if you're not hardened with self-recrimination and hate.

SandraDodd.com/negativity

Be sweet and soft, for your children.

Now, 11 years later, I have a page called "positivity," though both pages are about making choices that take one incrementally toward the more positive.
SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Lydia Koltai

Simple wisdom

One zen student said, "My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating."

The second said, "My teacher has so much self control, he can go days without sleep."

The third said, "My teacher is so wise that he eats when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired."

My kids did that!
The quote came to me from Bela Harrington.
photo by Lydia Koltai

Peace and joy

Life isn't all peace and joy. Many people will say that, and it's true.

With hopeful, positive intentions and with ever more mindful choices, there can be more peace, and more joy.

Being a Happy Mom

photo by Lydia Koltai

Triangles and rows

I had a Shakespeare professor who said "Three trees make a row," to confirm a pattern when a student noticed that something had appeared three times. I remember thinking, but not saying, "Not if they're making a triangle." But it wasn't a math class, and I understood his point.

There's something strong and fun about three. Two parents and a baby. A tripod for a camera or a telescope. A three-legged stool (a tripod to sit on). Three versions of a song. A book or movie trilogy. Counting by threes with its elegant stops at 33, 66, and 99.

European folklore has many sets of three, in bears, goats, wishes...

Here are other posts with photos of three things. It's a fun collection. Three (image label)
Three
photo by Lydia Koltai