Wishes

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

I wish things for our family had been different earlier than later, but it is what it is. Unschooling really helped make us better people. I can't even imagine, or rather I can, how different things would be with our relationships with our kids if they'd been in school all these years. Kids absorb the good and the bad. Unschooling really focuses on the good, and that's, well, GOOD! —Jenny Cyphers

"If Only I'd Started Sooner..."
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Beauty and softness

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

It's such a big part of our culture to get it done now, fix it all now, make it happen now, do, do, do, do. Sometimes what life really requires is calm and patience. A very valuable thing to learn in life is to how to take care of ourselves and others during times of stress and times that aren't ideal and wonderful.

I think that's part of "stopping and smelling the roses." If you don't take that time, you miss some pretty wonderful bits of life. When there is stress and other negative influences happening around us, it's even MORE important to take that time to seek out the beauty and the softness and the sweet and light and happy things.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Choose to see abundance

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

In order for kids to feel and see abundance, they first must have parents who feel and see it too, even if there is no money. Go to parks, pick up sticks, ride bikes to new places, swing on the swing differently, make bubbles and blow them in front of a fan. Look at stars at night and try to find constellations, light things on fire with magnifying glass, roast hot dogs for dinner (it's cheap), the possibilities are limitless, but only if you choose to see them. THAT is what will help your kids learn how to be creative thinkers—seeing and doing creative things.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/abundance.html
photo by Kristi Beguin
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All those moments

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

It seems that unschooling, for me, is a compilation of all those moments of being with my kids instead of doing something else. It's fun to go out of your way to do cool things with your kids and seek out opportunities, but the real stuff seems to happen in those moments that could just go by within each and every day.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/being/
photo by Elise Lauterbach

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When rules don't work

Jenny Cyphers, on principles over rules:

One of the kids that live near us, said rather astonished, "you don't have any rules do you?" I looked at him and said, "yes we do, they are, play nicely and behave kindly." He didn't think those were rules, and they aren't really, but that's where it all seems to come down to. A rule of no hitting, could be summed up nicely with "be nice," because clearly hitting isn't nice. Being nice covers it all.

A kid could easily not break the rule of "no hitting" by pinching or kicking, and completely get away with it, and feel pretty darn good about getting away with being mean without getting in trouble. If the idea is to "be nice," pinching or kicking won't work.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/principles/
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Softer, sweeter moments

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

It's such a big part of our culture to get it done now, fix it all now, make it happen now, do, do, do, do. Sometimes what life really requires is calm and patience. A very valuable thing to learn in life is to how to take care of ourselves and others during times of stress and times that aren't ideal and wonderful.

I think that's part of "stopping and smelling the roses." If you don't take that time, you miss some pretty wonderful bits of life. When there is stress and other negative influences happening around us, it's even MORE important to take that time to seek out the beauty and the softness and the sweet and light and happy things.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Cátia Maciel

Living, seeing, knowing

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

The proof is in the living! I will keeping on living the life that I'm living, because I KNOW it works, I SEE it. I don't doubt it at all! Other people will have to come to their own epiphany. I really like that word for KNOWing unschooling. I have little epiphanies all the time and on occasion a big one.

—Jenny Cyphers

This writing is what Schuyler referred to in Slowly amazing
photo by Megan Oriah
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Happiness is good for health

"Happiness is good for health! If something that makes a kid happy is deemed unhealthy by a parent, it will create stress and division. That kind of stress is NOT healthy. That kind of division works against the kind of relationship between parent and child that makes unschooling awesome!"

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/eating/peace
photo by Sylvia Woodman
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Calm acceptance

Sometimes the smallest thing can make child extremely happy. Sometimes parents can find joy in relaxing around fears and pressures. Without dress codes and early-morning school bells, or other kids to ask "Why are you wearing that?!", there can be leisurely days of choices and creativity, while parents practice saying "yes" and children play without worries.

Jenny Cyphers once wrote:

"The big upside of unschooling, in my opinion, was that it also created an unexpected peacefulness, fulfillment, and happiness for all of us."

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Julie Markovitz
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Just play

I've decided it's not so much the "what" that we do, but the attitude in which we do it. The whole wide world is open, just play and enjoy it. —Jenny Cyphers

"What (if anything) should I be doing to help..."
photo by Linda Malcor

The learning and the beauty

"It's all about that mind shift isn't it? It applies to so much in how unschooling works or doesn't work. If you can't see the learning and the beauty, you will have a hard time unschooling. It seems to work best in all those small ways that add up to the bigger picture."

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Chrissy Florence
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A world that is kinder

"As I've gotten older, I focus more and more on kindness. I want to be kind, I want my children to be kind and I want them to be in a world that is kinder." —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/virtue
photo by Sarah Elizabeth Douglas

Twinkling choices

There are all kinds of descriptors each of us could use for our kids. Choose the good ones, the ones that make them twinkle in our eyes. —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/labels
photo by Sandra Dodd

Power

"I want my kids to feel empowered, so I empower them." —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/jennycyphers/
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Questions and curiosity

"In each moment of questioning, or inquiry, or curiosity, you get to choose how you respond. You can respond in such a way that a child's question, their learning, is honored, with kindness and lightness and joy, or you can shut that down with your own opinions and ideas. The more a parent can honor a child's curiosity, the more that child will genuinely listen to their parent's ideas about the world." —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/eating/control
photo by Sandra Dodd

Emotional well-being

Emotional health and emotional well-being are as important, if not more so, as physical health.

—Jenny Cyphers

Moving Toward Less Control, Concerning Food
photo by Janine Davies
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Power

"I want my kids to feel empowered, so I empower them." —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/jennycyphers/
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Going backwards

"If a frustrated child is frustrating you, then find ways to eliminate things that frustrate your child."

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/bonding
photo by Sandra Dodd

Smile and create peace

I know that I can change the whole mood in my household simply by smiling and "be"ing happy. It creates a happy energy that infects others around me. I remember when both my girls were babies, I would cradle them in my arms and consciously smile and create peace in my heart while I was holding them. Sometimes, I was tired or anxious for them to fall asleep and it would make me feel less happy about that moment, so to shift it was a positive thing to do. I have happy memories of rocking my babies, while they seem to have a happy peace about them, and I think that is why my mood shifts will change theirs, even still now that one is 14 and one is 6.

—Jenny Cyphers
(whose girls are grown now)

original
photo by Cátia Maciel

A better moment

"What I know for sure is that a sad or angry moment turned into a happy and playful one will always be better."

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/bonding
photo by Sandra Dodd
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