"Self control" is all tied up with being bad, and with failure. Choices, though, are wrapped in thought, power and freedom!
photo by teenaged Holly Dodd,
of some of her shrinky-dink art
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I hate it, and feel like I'm missing out on so many sweet, little moments, but it is so hard for me to be fully present, almost like I can't control it.I responded:
Well don't hate it. Hate's no good. And you can't "control it." It might be easier to see it as a series of choices, with lots of chances to zone out, and lots of opportunities to focus back in.
People zone in and out all the time. It's not a sin. Live lightly. That's good for your children, if you can come back as easily as you slipped momentarily away, and if you're not hardened with self-recrimination and hate.
SandraDodd.com/negativity
Be sweet and soft, for your children.
Half of me says "bummer" and half of me says "cool!" and so at the balance point of those two, we continue to discuss unschooling.
"I really have to be vigilant on myself and try not to control."
I didn't know, years ago, that unschooling could strengthen a marriage. I did know that a good marriage would strengthen unschooling.
I have been criticized, over the years, for encouraging people to be kind and compassionate to partners or spouses. I have also been thanked by people whose marriages became stronger because of those ideas, or by the use of unschooling principes in general.
Although I am sympathetic to people whose marriages have failed for reasons beyond their control, there are divorces that could have been avoided, and there are relationships still in the future that could benefit by being bathed in sweetness and patience, humor and positivity.