Joy. That's it.

IF you can manage to move from cynicism and critical darkness into wonder and abundance—if you can make choices that help you live lightly—your life, your partner's life, your dog's life, your neighbors' lives AND OF COURSE your children's lives will be better. If you can find joy in being a parent, then you can enjoy doing it and it will bring you joy.

People who resist or reject joy will be rejecting the best tool they could have used to unschool well, to have longterm relationships with others, and to age gracefully.

Joy.
That's it.

SandraDodd.com/joy2
photo by Cass Kotrba

Relax inside yourself

Someone wrote once:

"I really have to be vigilant on myself and try not to control."

I was amused, but responded, in part:

Being "vigilant" sounds like absolutely exhausting effort. Relax. You do not "have to be vigilant." Especially not on yourself. That's you watching yourself. Way too much work. Let go of one of those selves. Relax inside the other one. Have a snooze. Don't be vigilant.

When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently.

SandraDodd.com/battle/
photo by Denaire Nixon

Abundance abounds!

I'm sharing this photo and note from Megan Valnes, with her permission:

Hello Sandra!

I thought of you today while observing my three youngest children having fun together and bonding while playing with the iPad. 🙂 Had I not opened our lives to the principles of Radical Unschooling, there is a high probability that this moment would never have happened. I remain grateful everyday for the wisdom I have acquired through you, your participants, and the daily practice of unschooling principles. Thank you. Abundance abounds!

—Megan Valnes
(e-mail, December 2023)

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Megan Valnes

Every little good thing

De-sludging one's thoughts can be helped by noticing every little good thing one does, that others do, that happens by chance. Gathering little sticks might not be as good as chopping big firewood, but until the ability to do big projects returns, gather the little sticks of hope and remember to be grateful and to find abundance, even if it's abundant Ramen soup, or abundant paper and pencils for drawing or making lists or playing games

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth2
photo by Sandra Dodd

A living example

Be the kind of person you want your child to be.

Nurture your own curiosity and joy.

Find gratitude and abundance in your life.

Explore. Make connections, on your own.

Share those with your children when they're interesting.

SandraDodd.com/video/doright
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Gratitude and abundance

If unschooling parents can move away from hatred and fear, and toward gratitude and abundance, their children's lives are profoundly better. (And the parents' lives are, too.)

SandraDodd.com/negativity
photo by Colleen Paeff

One step away

Stop struggling.
SandraDodd.com/struggle

What's better?

Breathing.

Clarity.

Peace.

Positivity.

Thoughts about doing better.

Links to all those things are at SandraDodd.com/struggle

Gratitude and Abundance would help, too.

One way to look things up on my site is to append something you think is in there, to SandraDodd.com/

SandraDodd.com/food

SandraDodd.com/joy

SandraDodd.com/gratitude

SandraDodd.com/abundance

(like that)

If it doesn't take you directly to your chosen topic, you'll get to a search box.

(original, on facebook)

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Cátia Maciel

Look and rejoice

How much do you need to own to touch a child gently? How much money do you need to have in order to smile?

Look at what you have rather than what you don't have. Look at what is in the world beyond your family and your neighborhood, and rejoice that your child might be able to go out someday and experience things you've never seen or heard or touched or tasted.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Sandra Dodd, of fried potatoes
in a pan we earned with grocery store points
before we had children

Can't see everything

No matter how far you look or imagine, you can't see everything. Children are growing in a living world.

When you look ahead, as far as you can see, look for beauty.

When you look behind, as far as you can, remember the good things.

SandraDodd.com/abundance

photo by Stacie Mahoe

What you have

The difference between poverty and abundance is sometimes the ability to see what one has. There have been times when I didn't have a car, we had a leaky roof, and the washing machine wasn't working. There have been more times that the car and washing machine were functioning, the house was solid, and I forgot to appreciate it.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Cátia Maciel

One special place

Near you there are many many plain and simple things that you might overlook for being commonplace, everyday, throwaway background sights, sounds, smells, tastes or textures.

What are walls and fences made of where you are? Some other places, it is very different. How does the air feel and smell when it's cold? What's the first plant that might volunteer to grow in a bare spot? What little animals might you see, and what birds do you hear? What do people throw away that a tourist might pick up and keep? What food is readily available, that everyone knows how to make, and has the ingredients for on hand nearly always?

When you look as far to the east as you can see, what is the view? Turn around and look the other way, too.

Where you are is exotic to most of the rest of the world. Most other people will never see it. Knowing that your plainness is someone else's curiosity can make your life richer.

Sometimes, when you look, listen, taste, feel, smell, close your eyes and rest, remember that you are in one special place.

Creating Abundance, by Deb Lewis

or Your House as a Museum

photo by Oshan in Sri Lanka
(click for a slightly wider view)

Up and above

Negativity will weigh you down and make life heavy. Hope and optimism will help you float up and above.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Abby Davis
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Unlimited gratitude

Gratitude doesn't need to be saved up for big things.

Abundance and gratitude
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

An abundance of comfortable choices

Sandra Dodd, writing with newly-adult kids, two of whom were still at home:

I didn't expect so much contentment. And my kids are not staying home because they have to. And they're not going to school or working because they have to. We're all reaping what we sowed, without knowing it would turn into such an abundance of comfortable choices.

SandraDodd.com/privilege
photo by Sandra Dodd

"A" is for Abundance

This photo is the background for the "A" on the current Learn Nothing Day logo.

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

In order for kids to feel and see abundance, they first must have parents who feel and see it too, even if there is no money. Go to parks, pick up sticks, ride bikes to new places, swing on the swing differently, make bubbles and blow them in front of a fan. Look at stars at night and try to find constellations, light things on fire with magnifying glass, roast hot dogs for dinner (it's cheap), the possibilities are limitless, but only if you choose to see them. THAT is what will help your kids learn how to be creative thinkers—seeing and doing creative things.

—Jenny Cyphers
at SandraDodd.com/abundance

The photo appeared here in First aid for scary, sad days of doubt
Thank you, Alex Polikowsky.

Doors

We are here now. We have been other places in the past. We will be in surprising places in the future.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Imaginary magical gifts

From an article about coming-out parties for unschoolers:

What if you could give magical gifts? How about the ability to change bodies long enough to see the world as your children see it? Perhaps just a few doses of magic to make time stand still, just a little while. More time and space? Unlimited patience! Friendly neighbors. A perepetually well-running van in the mom's favorite color. Intuitive knowledge of child development would be a good gift for homeschoolers and all their friends, neighbors and relatives. If you figure out how to produce such gifts, please remember me after your friends have all they need.

Unschoolers' Coming-Out Parties: Wishlists for Unschoolers
photo by Lydia Koltai

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The link above is full of of actual practical non-fantasy ideas, but it was written in 1999. If you read it, think of current and future supplies and gifts for children.

Bonus link: Abundance

Helping grown kids

Holly gets her firewood from our house. Her dad splits wood for fun and for exercise. He enjoys organizing his woodpile as a hobby. In addition to the split wood, she takes kindling, and I make "waxy wood" a time or two a year, by splitting short sections of straight cedar and dipping each stick in melted wax.

If Holly got cold, she could come to our house, or I would lend her blankets, or make corn bags for her to heat up in her microwave. We would pay her gas bill if she needed that sort of help. But for now, we share our fireplace know-how and the by-products of Keith's wood-processing hobby.

Share what you can share. Do what you can do.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Holly Dodd

Service and abundance

Service is an expression of love for me. It really depends on the attitude, doesn't it? Like the half full or half empty cup....although for me it is neither but plenty in it to go around.

— Nicole Kenyon

Responses to the Question about Service
photo by Cathy Koetsier

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Yesterday's link to SandraDodd.com/abundance didn't work, but it's fixed now, and is related to today's quote, too.

A Sense of Abundance

Colleen Prieto wrote:

I hope I have instilled a sense of abundance, not moderation, in my 11 year old. I hope he will love, enjoy, think, create, eat, sing, play, read, watch, go, see, and do in whatever amount or volume makes him smile. I hope he will never look at an opportunity, or a person, or a cookie, and think "I'd really like to do that, or hang out more with him, or try that" and then stop himself because his goal is moderation rather than happiness.

—Colleen Prieto

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Gail Higgins