tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477393606153944420.post6030474901120041032..comments2024-03-21T00:38:44.793-06:00Comments on Just Add Light and Stir: Better, wiser peopleSandra Doddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11853107998229753762noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477393606153944420.post-60540735965996795392011-02-20T20:55:07.675-07:002011-02-20T20:55:07.675-07:00If a person knows how to make conscious choices an...If a person knows how to make conscious choices and then doesn't do so, she is not doing her best anymore.<br /><br />Once she knows more, if she doesn't do better, and could have... yes.<br /><br />I don't just think people sometimes slack off on even bothering to do their best, they tell me so all the time. Sometimes I fail to do as well as I could do, but I try to make thoughtful decisions.Sandra Doddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11853107998229753762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477393606153944420.post-64451610793111985842011-02-20T20:36:47.606-07:002011-02-20T20:36:47.606-07:00Are you saying that you think people *choose* to b...Are you saying that you think people *choose* to behave reactively and unskillfully? In my experience, when I am reactive and dysfunctional, I am not making a conscious choice to be that way.<br />If you mean that people do not always behave rationally, compassionately and functionally, I certainly agree, but I would still say that this is the best they can manage in the moment, given their conditioning and whatever self-awareness skills they possess.Sue Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03283086343955819722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477393606153944420.post-4350189652219423492011-02-20T18:53:23.558-07:002011-02-20T18:53:23.558-07:00I don't think everyone is doing their best in ...I don't think everyone is doing their best in any given moment.Sandra Doddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11853107998229753762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3477393606153944420.post-79237933068683588692011-02-20T13:26:29.077-07:002011-02-20T13:26:29.077-07:00I'm certain that my mom did the best that she ...I'm certain that my mom did the best that she could. Her childhood was godawful and mine was not, though I could wish it to have been better. <br />I do think everyone is doing their best in any given moment -- our children, ourselves, our parents, the neighbors who I think are blowing it with their unconscious parenting. In that moment when I'm reactive and thoughtless, I simply can't do any better, that is the best I'm capable of, it feels to me, and usually I can see why I behaved so, when I think back on it. The fascinating question to me is what makes some people wake up, what gives some people the ability and drive to work at self-awareness, and others not, or at least not yet. <br />I wish I had learned all that I am learning and more before becoming a parent (as if that were even possible. How would I have learned without living it?) but I suspect that is just more of my resistance to failing and making mistakes that can keep me from learning and doing something complex and challenging, and I try not to stay in that thinking too long.Sue Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03283086343955819722noreply@blogger.com