Friday, July 20, 2012

Damage and lack thereof

My kids want to eat at home, rather than out. They LIKE what they already have and don't crave newness.

When I was little I didn't get things, and I was told no a lot, and I still get a thrill from spending money, eating out, getting something new. It's as though something in me broke, when I was little, and a switch is stuck that makes me want something, vaguely. My kids don't have that at all, none of them.

Keith said he wanted them to grow up undamaged, and this might be part of what "undamaged" looks like. They're realistic and not needy.
Legoland cafe scene, photo by Sandra Dodd


  1. There was a typo when this first went out, and it has since been fixed.

    "It's as though something in me broke..." ("me")

  2. Thanks for this thought, Sandra.
    I had the same, a couple of years ago, seeing our younger one so happy to be home, to eat at home, to invite friends at home more than going out. I think something in me broke when I was, not a child, but a teen.

  3. My husband and I were just having this conversation this morning about the grocery list. We are still amazed each week when we put together a list and the kids don't have any elaborate requests. I suggested to him that this is because they've always been able to add what they please to the list. They've always had a say in what food we keep in the house. How often have I felt that their shopping habits are more reasonable than my own, because I still want something. A candy bar! A bag of chips! Or a couple of each, please! I still look at the grocery store, after all these years, as a series of things were denied to me as a kid. And it's not just about good food vs. supposed bad, it's more about having the power to say I'd like tuna fish instead of chicken. At 42 years old, I still experience moments of neediness in a grocery store.


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