Chrissy Florence photos

Chrissy Florence sent me a Christmas card once, with this beautiful photo (and others). I couldn't stop looking at it. I still love to see it, every time it comes by.


I wrote to ask if I could use it, and if she had others. Yes, and she did.

Chrissy's photos show contemplation and exuberance. I hope you enjoy seeing them, and the quotes that jumped out to match them. Some photos were used twice, because of a Photobucket site glitch that caused me to lose some notes. That's okay, though. If a quote or photo comes by twice, it probably means it was worth seeing again!

I'm grateful for her eye and for her generosity.

Photos by Chrissy Florence
(Sick week, day 2)

A world that is kinder

"As I've gotten older, I focus more and more on kindness. I want to be kind, I want my children to be kind and I want them to be in a world that is kinder." —Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/virtue
photo by Sarah Elizabeth Douglas

Incremental change

Change takes time. Don't send the bill. Don't "be nice" for two months and then say "I was nice and you weren't any nicer to me!" Be nice because being nice is better than not being nice. Do it for yourself and your children.

SandraDodd.com/betterpartner
photo by Ester Siroky

More (or sometimes less)

Some days, do more. Some days, do less. Try not to worry. The worried days aren't the best days.

Making a family's life better
photo by Cátia Maciel

Step it up

Do It. If you're going to unschool, do it now and do it well. Part of doing it "well" is moving into it deliberately and with clarity, and going gradually, but by "gradually" I don't mean over five or ten years. Childhood lives in weeks, days and hours, not in months, years and decades.

SandraDodd.com/ifonly
but the quote is from page 20 of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Megan Valnes

Fully to this moment

Caren Knox, writing about meditation:

I came across the concept of "householder yoga", which is different than "monk yoga". I came to allow mothering to be my practice, which benefited both my kids and my meditation. I realized expecting my practice to be like that of someone who sat in a cave for 30 days, or sat with a teacher for hours every day, wasn't beneficial; whatever brings me fully to this moment is. —Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/breathing, or In the moment
photo by Megan Valnes

Theoretical broccoli

If my kids watched TV for hours each day, I might not be a good person to listen to about this, but I'll say it again: Unlimited access to TV and to food in my house has produced kids who only watch TV when they want to, and who only eat what they want to eat which is NOT a bunch of candy.

Holly asked for broccoli Tuesday. I bought some and cooked it before I knew she had gone to her friend's for an overnighter (she got the invite and left while I was shopping). So yesterday she asked about it, I reheated it and brought it to her at the TV where she was playing a game, waiting for the Simpsons to come on. She finished that bowl of broccoli, salt and butter, and asked for more with less butter.

I cooked the rest of it, and she ate most of it.

When The Simpsons ended she was done with the TV.

This isn't theoretical broccoli or TV, it was yesterday.

[It was 2001, sixteen years ago, but I wrote it the day after it happened.
Holly was nine years old.]

SandraDodd.com/eating/sweets
photo by Kate Green-Bagy

A loud, happy home

A loud, happy home is more peaceful than a quiet home where people are afraid to "disturb the peace."

SandraDodd.com/bignoisypeace
photo by Sandra Dodd

Are you joking?

People with younger kids who "are not writing," think again. Are they joking with you and others? When they ask questions, do they think a bit so they can word the question clearly? Are they starting to choose one word over another, for some dramatic or emotional or humorous or feelings-sparing reason? Writers need to do those things.

When they answer questions about a movie they've seen, do they take their audience into consideration? Who wants the short version, and who wants the long one? Who would rather hear about the characters than the action sequence? Writers need to think of those things.

SandraDodd.com/writing/seeing
(with samples of unschoolers' writing)
photo by Christina Kaminer Yarchin

Open to wonder

"Unschooling doesn't start at the rules in your head, it starts with each individual child. If one of your kids is curious about something and you're tempted to shut it down—because it's scary to you, because it might be dangerous—that's a problem. It's a big obstacle in your relationship with your child, one that sets up your kid to have to choose between mom and wonder. Wonder, for many people, is worth some risk. It can be worth physical risk to physical people. It can be worth a relationship with a parent, or both parents, or a whole family."

—Meredith Novak

SandraDodd.com/open
photo by Amanda Lyn Custer

While recovering

What advice do you have for families who are new to homeschooling?

Don't spend money at first. Read, meet other families, let your children have time to do what they're interested in, or what they weren't allowed to do before because of school.

If they want to read or play in the yard or ride bikes or watch movies or draw or paint or play games, make that possible for them.

While the children are recovering, the parents can learn about what they want to do and why, and how. There is more online about homeschooling than anyone could ever read. Find the writers and ideas that make sense to you, and pursue that. Don't rush into anything. Parents should learn to be calm and thoughtful instead of panicky and reactionary. It's better for health and decision-making, and it sets a good example for the children. Don't live in fear when you can live in joy.

SandraDodd.com/interviews/successful
photo by Hannah North

Newness and excitement

Energy is shared, and that's how unschooling works. Whether I'm excited about something new, or my children are excited about something new, there's still newness and excitement enough to share.

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Chrissy Florence

Dial it up!

The edge of the ocean isn't a static, solid line. Waves and tides make it beach, and water, and marine habitat, and land, back and forth, up and down, neither all nor nothing. Learning is that way, too, if you can relax.


See if you have a dial in your mind that says "everything" at one extreme and "nothing" at the other. It's impossible for anyone to do everything or nothing. Maybe label it "too much" and "not enough" instead, and try for the midpoint. Replace any on/off switches in your mind with slide bars or dimmers!"

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Janelle Wrock

A sense of peace

"Radical unschooling can bring about such a sense of peace with one's own self, that it can be poured into the being of another." —Megan Valnes

SandraDodd.com/empathy.html
photo by Sam Baykus

Attentive and sweet

Be attentive and sweet to your children. That might be one of your best healing tools.

SandraDodd.com/issues
photo by Janine Davies

Everything and more

If you want to measure, measure generously. If you want to give, give generously. If you want to unschool, or be a mindful parent, give, give, give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you thought you had given away, and more.

SandraDodd.com/howto/precisely
photo by Sandra Dodd

Generosity

As my kids get older...I'm seeing more vividly the results of parenting choices, not just in them, but in their more conventionally parented peers, as well. Generosity begets generosity. —Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/generosity
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Doing enough?

Are you doing enough? Are your kids looking at you expectantly, or are they busy off doing something fun? Have they seen the cool touristy stuff in your town already? "Field trip" kind of stuff? Do you let them do it at their own pace, and "quit early" if they want to? Do they have things to play with and build with and draw on and mess with? Do they have opportunities (if they want) to ride bikes, skateboards, climb something, jump on things? Are you looking for opportunities for them to hear live music or see theatre?

If you feel like you're not doing enough, do more.

SandraDodd.com/mha (an obscure page)
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

I'm not guessing.

I'm confident. I'm not guessing unschooling can work, I know. I've also seen how it can fail, through my correspondence and discussions with so many other homeschooling families. I'm not hoping that kids can still get a job without fifteen years of practice bedtimes; I know they can. (And they would've been "practicing" for the wrong shift anyway.) I don't conjecture that kids can learn to read without being taught, I know. It's happened at my house, in three people's lives.

SandraDodd.com/confidence
photo by Sandra Dodd
P.S.
Just because it *can* work doesn't mean that a family can't fail. If you're going to unschool, do it well. Find your own confidence. Help is available. SandraDodd.com/help

Loving touch, touching love

Touch someone, or something, in a gentle, thoughtful way. Feel with your fingers, or cheek, or hand the warmth or smoothness or softness of something or someone you love.

SandraDodd.com/babies/infants
Keith, Kirby, Marty and baby Holly Dodd
November 1991