
I went to school. Most people reading this probably went to school. But most people reading this probably are not sending their children to school. Many of you are probably finding that your vision of homeschooling isn't exactly the same as the reality of your child's life at home. I know my own vision missed coming true. . . .I don't mind that my vision failed. The realities of longterm natural learning were not within the scope of my beginning-homeschooler imagination. If their lives had unfolded as I had predicted they would have been smaller and sadder. I'm very happy to report that their real, natural, unschooled lives are both bigger and happier than my imagination.
The quotes are the beginning and end of "Books and Saxophones, SandraDodd.com/bookandsax
photo of Holly and Veronique by Sandra Dodd
 There are several sayings about the journey of a lifetime beginning with a single step and such. One step isn't the beginning of a journey if you keep one foot in the yard. You have to get away from the starting point completely.
SandraDodd.com/peace/newview
photo by Sandra Dodd
| The nest I built for my children even before I knew we would homeschool was made of toys and books, music and videos, and a yard without stickers. It was a good nest. |  | SandraDodd.com/nest
(The quote is from elsewhere, but that's a good link for it.)
photo by Sandra Dodd
When humor exists at the expense of children's dignity  and self esteem, when humor is an indicator of the jokester's true feelings about the wholeness and value and intelligence of chidren, that undermines children's worth and their chances of being seen, heard and respected as the full and important humans they are.
. . .
Yes, jokes are funny, and yes, people need to have a sense of humor, but people also should have a sense of their own beliefs and courage and the future of mankind. Is that overstating it? Maybe and maybe not.
SandraDodd.com/notfunny photo by Sandra Dodd
It seems to me the best you can do for your family is to choose to be with them as long and as well as you can be, mindfully aware that you have chosen to do this.
Live sweetly by choice. |  | From my handwritten notes for a 2004 presentation
that was pre-empted for a last-minute speaker.
photo by Sandra Dodd
Movies touch and show just about everything in the world.  There are movies about history and movies that are history. There are movies about art and movies that are art. There are movies about music and movies that would be nearly nothing in the absence of their soundtracks. Movies show us different places and lifestyles, real and imagined.
SandraDodd.com/movies
photo by Sandra Dodd
 Looking back, I think the best advice I can give parents of boys who are concerned that they might not become men is this: Consider them to be whole, no matter how old they are. Treat them with respect and find ways for them to be around as many people and situations as you can, and whenever possible let them make choices about how long to be out and when to go home; what to attempt and what to stall off on; what to start and what to quit.
A rich and busy life can lead to unexpected benefits, and even if nothing remarkable happens, you will have had a rich and busy life with your sons. Few parents have that. Few men grew up in the warmth of smiles and approval and opportunities to explore or to stay home.
SandraDodd.com/interviews/bloggingboutboys
photo by Sandra Dodd
 Even with grown kids who could absolutely take care of themselves if I died or if they moved away, I'm still doing laundry for them because I want to free their time up to do more interesting things. I started running out of ways to express my affection and to support their interests when they had jobs and cars, but this is a thing I can still do. If I decided it was hurting me, I could turn around and hurt them. Lots of parents do that.
If I decide it's a way to show affection, I turn around and show them affection.
SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Holly Dodd
 Recently, far from home, I was looking at a "coffeetable book" of photos of clouds. The author had included contrails. Until that moment, I had always thought of them as pollution, messing up the sky. But Holly had no such aversion to them, and without knowing I had seen them bound up in a collection of images of beauty, she took this photo one day in Albuquerque.
Our children do not need to carry our negativity or our nervous fears. Clouds are temporary in any form, and behind them all is light.
aboutunschooling.blogspot.com
photo by Holly Dodd
 Some people think of play as frolicking, or as make-believe, but it can be a pervasive mood and include the way people bring groceries in, and watch movies, and sort laundry and sing in the shower. A light and playful attitude changes everything.
SandraDodd.com/rentalk
photo by Sandra Dodd

It seems what will cause a kid to watch a show he doesn't want to watch is parental disapproval. If he's been told it's too scary, too adult, or forbidden, his natural curiosity might cause him to want to learn WHY. My kids, with the freedom to turn things on or off, turned LOTS of things off, or colored or did Lego or played with dolls or action figures during "the boring parts" (often happening to be the adult parts—what did they care?) and only looked back up when happy music or light or dogs or kids got their attention again.
SandraDodd.com/t/whatif
photo by Sandra Dodd
A response to this question:
What proof do you have that it is working? How would you suggest parents reassure themselves that this path is providing everything their children need?
Well starting at the end, there is no path that will provide everything for a child. There are some [paths] that don't even begin to intend to provide everything their children need. Maybe first parents should consider what it is they think their children really need.
As to proof of whether unschooling is working, if the question is whether kids are learning, parents can tell when they're learning because they're there with them. How did you know when your child could ride a bike? You were able to let go, quit running, and watch him ride away. You know they can tell time when they tell you what time it is. You know they're learning to read when you spell something out to your husband and the kid speaks the secret word right in front of the younger siblings. In real-life practical ways children begin to use what they're learning, and as they're not off at school, the parents see the evidence of their learning constantly.
SandraDodd.com/interview
photo of a kaleidoscope (and Holly) by Holly
Holly was six when the response above was written,
and nineteen years old when she took the photo.
For learning to happen in ANY situation, safety and some peace are required.
Can there be too much peace? For learning, yes. Learning requires mental arousal. If an environment is so still and barren that one's curiosity isn't sparked, then people might be closer to a state of sleep than of excited curiosity. Life can be too dull and quiet for learning to spontaneously happen.
 Can there be too little peace? Yes, and in many ways. There can be too much noise, stimulation and chaos. So finding the balance place and the comfort level is part of creating a peaceful home.
Peace is a prerequisite to natural, curious, intellectual exploration.
What is peace, then, in a home with children? Contentment is peace.
Is a child happy to be where he is? That is a kind of peace. If he wakes up disappointed, that is not peace, no matter how quiet the house is or how clean and "feng shuid" his room is.
Peace, like learning, is largely internal.
SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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